I wake up dazed
unbalanced or disoriented
don't know which one
don't care which one
I check myself if I am the same person
I pinch myself if this is a dream
It's not
I am awake
a little bit off as they say
my eyes are open and receiving signal
my mind is blank and unseeing
refusing to feel
I am doing everything, the best way I know to
But I am not myself, not today
I am farther away than my normal distant self
Lost where I don't hear your presence
I put an effort to feel differently
But I don't
The day continues and I know today I am not home.