When I was born I didn't know what I was or what I would become
But many important people in my life claimed to know
My journey started even before I knew it did
Most of it was used up acquiring basic survival skills
My growth made the blank recesses in my mind grow bigger
The recesses, that needed filling
The vacant spaces, no one warned me about
I look for the pieces that will fill them
It's hard to find them and even harder to fit them
I size the pieces to make better sense
Every piece is different, unknown, not always fitting, not always required
But I still need them to complete my distorted self
Most of these pieces were passively acquired while growing up
Father's behavior, mother's skills, brother's interests and much more
At the time I thought it was enough
Slowly what wasn't fitting, fell out
What I learned was unlearnt
New pieces were sized up, tasted and acquired
What didn't fit was discarded
My looks, my books
My music, my logic
My choices, my skills
Everything changed
I started to fall out of my definition
The family defined lines were distorted, labeled and wrong
My awakening wasn't met with smile
I outgrew and it was wrong and unjust
But I kept going, holding on to my quest
Looking for my perfect pieces
Letting go off what I couldn't hold on to.
