I've lost it.
My favourite stuffed animal, a small, fluffy, white monkey.
It's not in my room,
it's not in the halls,
it's not even in the play room.
I run room to room, searching frantically.
Nowhere in sight.
As I'm about to give up and cry, a familiar voice calls me.
"Fear not my dear. Your monkey was just helping me do the laundry."
I turn to my mother who holds my beloved Monkey.
The fur looks fluffier and cleaner.
I smile widely, hugging it tightly.
"Remember that you won't always need your monkey, but I am here."
I look at the small building.
A playground sits in a fenced area,
Other children yelling and screaming as they play.
I look up to my mother,
Silently pleading not to go.
"It will be fun, you just need to be yourself."
I frown in sorrow.
I don't want her to leave,
But she does and I must stay here.
I try and do as she said, and behold!
I have made myself a friend.
Mother comes back at the end of the day.
Joyfully, I run up and hug her.
She smiles as I tell her about my day.
"That's great to hear my dear. I told you it would work."
She winks at me and I turn to my friend.
With a wave I say goodbye until tomorrow.
"Remember that you won't always have your friend, but I am here."
I sit silently in the car.
The mean boys wouldn't let me play.
Mother notices my silence,
Asking me what's wrong.
I sit silently and shake my head.
It's all I can do not to cry.
She looks at me lovingly,
Taking my hand in hers.
A tear silently falls,
Landing on our hands.
"Don't cry my dear. You're still young and people will change."
I blink as tears fall,
And then I break.
I tell her all about the mean boys.
"Remember that there is nothing wrong with being who you are. They won't always be mean, but I am here."
I slam my door.
How could she do this?
I hear a knock,
But I don't want to see her.
I lay on my bed and hide my face.
The door opens,
and mother walks in.
I tell her how she's being unfair,
That I should be allowed a phone.
"You don't need a phone, just because everyone else has one."
I get mad again,
Telling her she's wrong.
"You are better than that. You are an individual who doesn't need it. Be proud."
I huff in annoyance.
"Remember that just because everyone else has it, doesn't mean you need it. You are unique, but I am here."
This is it.
I sit patiently in the sterile, white room.
The test results should be out soon.
Will she be okay?
What if it's serious?
The doctor walks out,
My mother following.
They're out of hearing range,
But I can tell it isn't good.
Mother walks over and tells me we're leaving.
I ask what's wrong,
But she avoids my question with a smile.
"Things don't always go our way."
I worry about her,
But eventually give up in annoyance.
"Remember that no matter what, I love you. I may not see you all the time, but I am here."
Tears fall like the rain outside.
Cancer is awaiting.
He wants to claim another victim.
My mother gives me a dull, weak smile.
I sob miserably,
Seeing her so pale and fragile.
Why did this happen?
The heart monitor beeps again,
Signaling that her heart is still working.
We all know though.
I take her hand in mine,
Like she has done so many times.
"Please stop crying my dear."
Her voice is so quiet and small.
Not the beautiful melody it's always been.
"Remember me as I was, nothing less. I'm sorry for everything I couldn't help you with, but I'm here."
Silence.
So eery, so sad.
The black casket lies open,
My mothers small body peacefully inside.
She looks so different,
And yet still the same.
It's definitely the same face.
Even if it is gaunt,
But the eyes hold nothing.
The MC lifts the mic,
Asking if anyone has parting words.
A few brave souls go up,
Tears staining their cheeks.
I'm sure I'm no exception.
I'm asked to the front,
To say the final words.
"I would like to say thank you, to those who came."
What I really want is my mother,
But I speak politely.
Telling them what they need to hear.
"She was always there, even in the bad times. Now for her I say, remember that I love you. I know I didn't show it much, but... I'm here."
~{+}~+{+}~+{+}~{+}~{+}~{+}~
I don't personally have a family member who's died of cancer, but I got inspired. I'd like to give a big shout out to anyone who has a family member, a friend, or even themselves have cancer. Keep going strong! The people that love you will always be there!
