Did he love me or not?

Did he love me pt3.

And I just shook my head and looked out the window, saying: "Don't say that, nobody wants to be left all alone". He had that sad look in his eyes again when I looked at him, when he stood up and got back to his seat.

SO...yeah. Senior year went on, we had tests and exams and stuff, we had to prepare for the final exam that would test our all High School knowledge and determine whether we can go to college or not. (The equivalent of the SAT-s I guess)

We were all pretty busy, so the time went by. Let me think what else happened..hm... well aside from seeing an empty chair exactly when I wanted him to be in class and feeling a bit disappointed, nothing big happened. Like when I knew an answer no one else did he would usually turn around and look at me with his big brown beautiful eyes full of excitement and call me a genius, I always denied it of course there were smarter people everywhere, but it just made me feel so good when he said it. I almost blushed.

The school year went on. We had this awesome friendship with everyone. We had so much fun in simple ways. And then in May we had another trip but this time not out of the country. It was just a normal field trip. And I was having fun, with everyone, not really minding the fact that he wasn't sitting close to me, not really noticing it either, when I was left alone and my bff went to sit temporarily at the end of the buss to joke around with some classmates.

I was just staying there looking out of the window, sitting near the window when He came out of nowhere and just on the seat beside me. Never saying anything. He came closer. Put his head on my freaking shoulder, got comfortable and closed his eyes. \○_○|.

I was so surprised that I froze for a minute there. Then I just relaxed a little and tried to put my head on top of his, that was now resting on my shoulder, but I did it oh so slowly. First feeling his hair on my cheek, then slowly putting my full weight on him. My heart was beating so fast, I had no idea what to do. In normal conditions-not that this had ever happened to me before-I would have just pushed him and told him to go find someone elses shoulder to use as a pillow, but I didn't.

He stood there until the end of the trip and when we came home, ( when he did this we were on our way back home) I slowly touched his shoulder to wake him up, and when he did he looked a little disoriented but kinda smirking😑but his voice was a little raspy and his hair a little messy aghhh.It was so beautiful. And then he stood up and left before me. Trust me this was huge. I was not a physical person with anyone, not even my closest friends...

Next thing you know, HE GOT A GIRLFRIEND. The freaking bastard got a girlfriend after making me all confused.😑She was oh so beautiful, with long brown straight hair, a very good style and fashion sense (he had a fashion sense too,that jerk) and not in that stereotypical, evil queen-bee-of-the-school type of way, just a great fashion sense, she kinda looked like me though, now that I think about it, with long brown hair, tall and slender body, kinda heartshaped face, brown eyes. She was beautiful. I had so many mixed emotions swirling inside of me. I was kind of sad because this proved that all those little moments between us were actually a figment of imagination, they never meant something to him.  But he seemed happy, and I was genuinly happy for him, even though I started missing him because he was never around anymore. This lasted until after senior year.

Yes prom was awesome, during prom we were seated together for a minute he told me I looked 'the most beautiful' of all the girls, of course I just snorted and said ' Yeah right', but he insisted and then I told him 'thanks you too'. While I was eating dinner, it was just us sitting there everyone else was dancing, he saw a pink shoe near my feet and caught it as if to help me put it on, like in cinderella *sigh* while looking at me from down there with those questioning dreamy eyes, as if saying 'is this yours? If yes I will help you put it on." But I told him it wasn't mine so he sat back on his chair, that was such a noment, you have no idea.

Then at the end of prom while we aere all dancing together,a slow song started playing while the singer rested a bit and everyone started slowdancing, I swear to God I saw him come in my direction, probably wanting to ask me to dance,but I almost ran to my seat. So we didn't dance at prom. I danced with two of my close guy friends though, it was awesome.

But a week before prom, however, we were at this party that the school had organized and there when the slow dancing music started, he came to dance with me. He saw me running to my seat ( yeah that's what I still do when he slowdancing music comes on, because who am I kidding,who would ask Me-_-duh). Anyway I sat,started drinking some water, when someone tapped my shoulder,and then I turned around and there he was, looking so breathtakingly handsome, with his palm outdtretched in my direction, with a hopeful look in his eyes, asking me to dance,without words of course cuz it was too loud for that. I was kind of surprised,because there were a lot of hot girls already waiting for someone to ask them,and he asked me ♡▪♡. I know you will laugh at me but in that moment I was way too surprised so I turned around the table to check if he was asking someone else or really me. I made a gesture towards my chest, as if saying,"ME"?"ME?" o_o

And then he nodded and took my hand and we danced. Somewhere along the way we talked a little, and he said something along he lines of the school year ending and stuff, and I told him to not remind me that because we'd never see each other again. And he said it's not true of course we will. And I just had to hug him. I closed the distance between us and hugged him, squeezed him. Than got back to dancing. My first time slow dancing with anyone in my life. It was him. I will never forget it. At prom (which happened a week later) I danced with two other close friends but those were nothing like this dance. Somehow I tried to put all my feelings into that one dance. I think he knew it there and then..I think I might have poured too much feelings into that dance, I think I wanted that dance to be my first and my last one ever. But the song had to end at some point, and we had to separate. And we were slightly awkward, I don't even know what happened but we turned to different ways and got lost in the dancing crowd, that was now dancing to some techno song.

The party soon came to an end, then on the way back, he was kinda tipsy cus he had drank some beers, he started talking about chemistry, like revising but out loud, he had a test the next day. And he kept talking about chemistry, trying to impress me I think, because everytime I looked the other way, he said another definiton and asked me whether he was right, and when I told him that he was, his face would light up with a dazzeling smile.

Yeah I might have felt something change inside me right that moment. Because usually drunk people say stupid stuff and make asses out of themselves in front of people right? And here he was trying to impress me.#_# I'm so stupid right? For thinking, hoping deep inside my heart that that is what he was trying to do. Was he?