Did he love me or not?

Did he love me pt 6

Just kidding..

We actually decided that we would call all of the girls and boys we used to hangout with, a.k.a. all of the greatest himan beings from our class in High School. Here we only have one class or how do I explain it: We don't change the classroom for every subject we take-like I've seen people do in movies from us High School movies- we have one classroom where we learn every subject, which also means we spend every day of our High School with the same people. We learn every subject with the same people. I just wanted to clearify the reason why we were so close to these classmates-we spent six hours of every day with them, for three years-excluding the weekends and the holidays of course. So back to my track ( sorry I got off track a little), we decided we would meet up one of the days of the next week. But of course as fate would have it we couldn't meet up in any of the days of that next week. Or the next one, or the one after that. We met today, on April 15th, more than a month later. The day when we met those two guys was 2nd of March -_-... Well..my dear friend decided to write the invitation and open the groupchat, add all the people of the clique, write out the invite, so basically she did everything I used to do, saving me the trouble of doing it this time. I'm so thankful for her. Aand everyone replied with a yes, some of them had to work during the day so we decided to meet up at 6 a clock in one of our local Cafés. Ha! Of course I had a family dinner that same weekend, and it was almost impossible for me to attend the meeting. Almost. My friends gathered up and started talking and the usual stuff, I assume, while I was fighting against time to get there. My mother had seriously, and I mean seriously insisted that I had to be at that family dinner because it rarely ever happens and grandma (my mom's mother) wanted to see all of her grandchildren there. So yeah we went, and we had a great time, I must admit it. But I was kinda hoping I'd get to see my friends too, after two years, of not seeing them at all. Long story short I made it to my friends meeting 1 hour late, at 7.

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One of my close guy friends even called me to make sure I was gonna go to them and he actually kinda 'ordered' me to show up cuz we hadn't seen each-other in so long.When I finally got there, they were all going out of the café and planning to go somewhere else. Everyone was so excited to meet me, I was so happy. Everyone hugged me tightly and told me I smelled nice(heheh)I was so glad to see them all after so long. And there he was. . .

While hugging everyone else I must have missed the beat of my heart that prbably skipped as soon as my face touched his while hugging him. But one thing is for sure, I didn't miss the warmth I felt on my face when his face touched mine. God it was like sparks flew between our faces. Of course like the prideful stupid girl I am, I played it right off and went to hug someone else immediately, not even meeting his eyes. As if he's just another old friend I'm meeting, as if he's just a stepping stone to the next person I'm gonna hug. Damn it now that I think about it, he really did hug me, and he really did squeeze my body while doing so. -Unbelievable..- At least I smelled nice. hah. The strange thing is that out of my close friend with whom we planned this outing, everyone that was there is a very dear friend to me that I haven't seen in two years. And it is true that in those moments I was trying to hug and greet them too, wholeheartedly. I know I missed them all so much. I just couldn't allow myself to show it to him. I tried to seem as if I hadn't even missed him at all. At this point I really thought I wouldn't have ...but as I sat down at the table inside, and my friends jokingly fought wih each-other for the seats next to me, he got one in his hands and sat right next to me. There wasn't even enough space for him to sit there because my bff was siting next to me but he actually took a chair and put it between her and me, on my right side, and sat there. That jerk. I don't know why but I felt like I wanted him to sit anywhere else but there. I just wasn't feeling very confident that I might be able to stand him.

.. I was actually trying to analyze myself. I was trying to analyze my own behaviour towards him. And I realised that he still makes me feel a little nervous. Which is ridiculous, because I haven't thought about him at all for months maybe even a year. "Lies", is what you may think. Well even if I did have a fleeting thought of him, I fought it off, I actually fought with my own self and didn't allow myself to think of him. So even if there was a thought it evaporated in seconds. Which is probably why I was trying to test myself and see what I would feel now. But this nervosism was scaring me. Because it meant that a)I still might have the tiniest, teeniest feeling left about him and b)After I go home after this meeting my night would be ruined.