Dear people,

Why

But I will start with explaining why.

I know why? was probably the question that everyone had in mind. You'd probably think I had everything. Good grades, sweet family, a lot of friends. I was never in trouble and always had a smile on my face. But behind that smile was another world. Because I didn't had a sweet family, I didn't had that much true friends.

I have a rough past. It wasn't easy for me growing up. I grew up in the wrong side of the neighbourhood.

My mom had me when she was only 18. She had lost her parents and was all alone. She had no home and lived on the streets, she couldn't have me with her. So she left me outside of a house that looked nice from the outside, but was a hell hole from the inside. She didn't know she had left me with a group of boys, who were the leaders of a gang that ruled the neighbourhood.

They didn't treat me that bad, but the were still gang members. So I was raised to be the gang leader. They gave me fighting lessons and made me watch gangs fight. I never liked to be in the gang, I was always in danger, I never could go out alone. When I was around 10 years old, they wanted me to fight a girl from my class, but I refused, let's just say they didn't like that. Because I didn't fight the girl, they shot and killed her and me they beat me up when we got home. That's when my gang life really started. I have a lot of people see been killed, I have seen a lot of people get beaten up. When I was 16 I asked if I could leave the gang. They didn't agree so I tried to walk away. They found me and as punishment they raped me and left me on the street.

I was found by a really sweet old lady who took me in and helped me. She was always so nice to me, but didn't know what was going on inside of me. I was bullied, because I came from the wrong side of town and because I looked different. I always wore black, red, leather and tight clothes. People called me a slut, for wearing tight skirts. The beat me up, because of where I came from. I had just a few friends. And if you now ask yourself why didn't you buy new clothes. It's because I couldn't I didn't have that much money. Cause the women who took me in was very poor, but still cared for me, like a mother I never had.

She died when I was 17. She left everything to me, her house, her money and her cat. When I was going through the house I found a box full of money. I was suddenly rich.

Short after my past came rushing back, the gang wanted me back and another gang was trying to kill me. I couldn't do it anymore, I had to leave. I had to leave for my own safety and also for yours, they threatened to kill you.

So I had to leave, one night I packed my things and left. Nobody could know about it because I would be followed. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hope you like you like the book so far. 

XXX-jes Sanne