Dear tk;;
You're never going to see this because I know I don't have the guts to send this to you - not after so long, but I remember writing to you a letter full of anguish and despair - but I forgot to thank you. I forgot to thank you for the good and the bad. I forgot to thank you for the lessons you taught me, the stupid ones and the important ones. So here goes.
Firstly, I wanna thank you for depriving yourself of sleep just to talk to me. To get me out of social situations and even to help me feel better on one of my down days. I could never be able to repay you and I will never stop cursing those damn time zones that wedged such a barrier between us. No matter how much we try to blame them, we both know it's our faults.
Secondly, I wanna thank you for showing me all the good thinks in life. I want to thank you for allowing me to see the beauty that is here for me to explore before I leave - there are still so many things I plan to do, just not with you anymore. Also, thank you for teaching me how to love myself. You taught me that my flaws are beautiful and that I'm worth it, but not to you anymore. It's like you were training me to become someone that can function on their own whilst carrying their hollow heart. It's like you wanted to make me so I don't break when you leave me. But that's not how it works and no I'm not fine and yes I've moved on but don't even think for a second that I'll forget this let alone regret this. Regret you. Letting you rip my heart out was my favourite mistake.
Finally, thank you for teaching me all the damn irrelevant shit that now drowns my brain with the thought of you. I already knew that small hands make a small dick look big and no I didn't need to know what excessive wanking lead to. However, I'd additionally like to thank you for helping me understand how pathetic of a person I am. Thank you for letting me see that I'm too much of a nice person. Thank you for letting me see how naive I was and thank you for all the lies that made me believe in us. Thank you for the half-assed efforts and thank you for showing me that we can't be nice to everyone we meet. So here's the harsh side of me that you'll never see. I didn't ask you to fight for me but I was stupid enough to believe that you would.
Thanks for playing me.
// your game.
[[ w ]]
