∆Lips Øf An Angel∇ Jøshler

✨➕Ruminate➕✨

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Tyler sat on the bed he's became accustomed to as he fidgets with the loose strings under his nimble fingers.

The sweatshirt that smelled strongly of Mulberry and Honeydew hung off of his shoulder as he refused to look at a pacing josh across the room.

"I don't understand, Tyler. I'm right here! I'm right fucking here and I treat you right, the only bruises I ever leave are made by my lips and fingertips. I treat you like you deserve, but you keep running back to 'him'. Why aren't I enough? I don't understand. Can't you see, Tyler? I fucking love you and you won't let me, why?"

Tears welled up in both of their eyes as Tyler raised his gaze to his exposed shoulder and arms. The bruises littering his skin wasn't from love, and he knows that, but love is what kept him put.

Justin was his first love, how was he supposed to give it up after all those years? He just needed help, Tyler was sure of it.

But now he knows fear is what keeps him in place as he keeps running back to the man that treats him like the dirt under his shoes; worthless.

With a shaky intake of breath and suppressed tears, Tyler speaks in the softest of voices; gaining Josh's attention.

"People always asked me where my home was, and I always gave them a street name or vague instructions, but that's not what home is."

Josh was confused as he tugged harshly at his faded pink hair, "Tyler, I don't -"

"When I was in kindergarten my teacher asked me where my home was, and she promised if I got it right I could have a toy from the mystery box."

Tyler's eyes lifted to meet Josh's as the pain in Tyler's words reflected in his glassy eyes, "I was silent, I didn't know my address. I was so upset that I didn't know, because a lot of the other kids were happily pulling out candy and stickers from the box as they gave their street names, but I was one of the few to stay silent."

"You see I thought I was stupid for not being able to memorize my street Name, but I was wrong. As I grew older I realized home isn't the place you go to at the end of the day, or the room where you lay at night."

Tyler was rambling as Josh slowly took a seat next to the shaking boy; sliding his hands up and down his back comfortingly.

"That isn't a home, that's a house. Those kids were wrong, because at that time we wasn't even aware there was a difference between the two; maybe a lot of people never do."

Tyler looked up and smiled sadly as he glanced up at the boy who had become his home. The pink hair that laid messily against his forehead in the mornings, the sweetest of honey brown eyes that made him believe everything was going to be okay with just a simple glance, and a smile to reassure everything his eyes promised.

"Time has passed, bruises have come and gone, scars have healed and left their mark, words have left imprints in memories, and things have happened; but I was still searching for my home."

"Home is where you feel safe and loved without a burden weighing on your shoulders."

Tyler's eyes flickered down to Josh's lips before he raised his small hand to cup Josh's jaw.

"Home isn't a place after all, it's a person. It's the person who checks up on you at the end of the day, makes you feel loved without consequences, gives you reassurance, and cares about your well being."

Tyler sniffled as tears rolled down his cheeks and dripped from his chin to his knee.

"Home is when you wrap your arms around me in your sleep; pulling me closer. Home is when you allow me to call you up only when I need you. Home is when you kiss over the bruises he makes while you reassure me that I deserve so much better."

Tyler inched closer to where their noses and foreheads touched before mumbling the last part of his speech.

"You are my home, Joshua."

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A/n

I have a job interview tomorrow, and I'm excited/nervous.

I love you, my lil spookies💞

👽Stay • Alive💀

-becca💫