Life Without My Mate

5

When the drink mix was done Emelie busted through the door like a dramatic movie scene that was flawlessly back lit. Then the kitchen light shone on her face and she was literally the ugliest crier ever to cry.

"Some jerk stole Venti!" she screamed, black streaks of makeup ran down her face and leaked onto the floor. Peaches, Donnie, Grande and I clapped really loudly. Peaches played 'ding dong the witch is dead' and we all danced and it was really happy.

"What are you doing??" Emelie shrieked. Grape guy flinched behind her. "We need to phone the police and save her!"

Everyone stopped dead and stared at her. "No way, we aren't saving Venti! She's so mean and we hate her." Peaches pouted, now sitting on the floor with her arms folded over her chest.

"You're a thirty year old woman, Peaches." Grape guy blinked at her. "You sound like you're five."

"I hope you get scabies!" Peaches screamed as she hit the floor in a bawling puddly mess, sucking her thumb and curling into the fetal position.

"Do you even know what that is?" Grande sighed, sitting on the floor as he'd begun to sweat from standing too long. He then grunted that he was hungry and swung open the refrigerator door and fixed himself a salad with chocolate ice cream sauce.

"What the hell are you making?" Emelie muttered in disgust.

"Since Venti is dead I can eat everything I want because she isn't here to call me fat and make me shower fifteen times a day."

"Venti isn't dead!" Emelie screamed in exasperation. "You guys need to go save her."

Grande and I were now sitting on the floor, intensely focused on a game of Canasta. "Later." I grunted. "We have crib after this."

"No! Now!" she yelled, stomping her foot so hard that the entire continental breakfast shook.

Grande and I exchanged looks of horror, put on our military uniforms and stood at attention so that we were ready to be shipped off to rescue Venti.