My Still love to me is this boy that i still vibe with, although we're no longer together. I might get along with most of the people I failed to have a relationship with, but this boy in particular, I swear is my soul mate. It's like when I touch him, sparks fly out of my finger tips. And when we laugh, sparks fly out of our ears.
But he gets in my head.
I found him when I was in 8th grade and I loved him as much as I thought I could. He broke my 14 year old heart by cheating on me with a girl I won't mention. I never liked her. It's like sometimes you can just tell yunno. He started smoking pot and getting in trouble. At the time I thought weed was the worst thing and I continuously bitched which is probably what led him to cheat on me. He went to several different rehabs and moved more than an hour away from me.. We tried.
He tells me, he loves me but I've always wanted someone else. He left me. He started this. And when I started highschool I met a new boy and from the second I saw him, I knew I would love him. He was in rehab and I wrote him a letter.. letting him know there was someone else. I knew his heart would shatter.
Sometimes it's like how terrible do you have to be to break up with someone and let them know it's because you've found someone new in a letter?
But
How terrible is it to cheat on somebody
I know it was eighth grade but it felt like he threw my heart against a wall and he never helped me pick it up...
I was with this new boy for three years and one year in, I cheated on him with Still Love. I couldn't help it. I mean I could. Something always pulls me towards him. After this incident, we pretended like each other didn't exist. It was easy for awhile until I couldn't stop thinking about the way I feel when I'm around him and how it compares to no one else. Near the end of my three year relationship, I saw my Still love and he stayed with me once again.
Some of the best memories
I didn't see him for a year. For this entire last year I've been with my New love, and for some damned reason I thought I should see him once again... and so I did, and we did what we always do. And he ruined a part of my being.. just like everytime. I guess I had something to do with the ruining part as well...
But I love him. And I will never stop. He will always be the poison that I drink down with ease. He will always be in my heart and I hope nothing bad ever happens to him..
I can't believe myself sometimes. It's like I have no control over what I want to feel and people take their sweet advantage..
He makes me feel so good.. even when it's been an entire year since I've seen him. But I can't keep ruining every relationship I have...
There has to be some kind of closure right?
I don't know man. He is the male version of me.
