Thoughts of Insanity

My Goddess

     A cold rush of feeling, surrounding me; rushing through my blood. A face, small and elf-like with chestnut hair surrounded by a bright blinding light. Is she an angel? Am I finally dead? No, I am not. Pain fills my body making me open my mouth in a soundless scream. Sharp silver needle appearing in the angel's hand.

     No, I will not go back into that darkness. I won't be a prisoner to you anymore. Logan, I know you are out there, I know you are watching. I feel your eyes like the devil himself is watching me. Why can't I talk? I want to tell you my opinion about this. I want to know why I am here! These leather cuffs restraining me, bruising my wrists and ankles. My anger fills me with a cold burning.

     Logan, you will not damn me, your Gods aren't mine. I do not have a God as cruel as you do. Freya and Skadi, my goddesses, have their purposes and their meanings. Both can be cruel, but they are kind. They show love, yours show murder and hell. Freya promotes love and beauty, but she is also a warrior full of wisdom and magic. Skadi is the winter goddess; she created the ancient hunt in our homelands. She is full of justice, vengeance, and righteous anger. They are only cruel and mean when forced. Your nameless gods' hobby is pain and death.

     The angel elf girl sticks the needle into my arm and I scream. My throat and lungs ache from an unused voice. I fight to break free of these restraints. The blackness trying to pull me back under. I do not want to be taken back into the abyss. I start to softly say the pagan prayer in hope of being saved.

'Oh Great Goddess

Enfold me in your peace

Encircle me with calmness

Embrace me with acceptance

Calm my fears and doubts

Let me feel your healing cloak

Renew my strength with yours

Lift my spirit with new hope & joy

 Make me alive with gratitude

At peace with my own true self

Aware of life's blessings & magic

Mindful of the gifts, I have to share

Oh Great Goddess

Maiden of possibility

Mother of actions

Crone of insight

Bless me

I am

Calm'

     The darkness still came but I felt a sense of peace and calmness embrace my soul. Telling me that I'd be ok. We would all be ok, and that I will live to seek another chance. To finally have my revenge against my brother. I go to the darkness, with a smile upon my face.