The Beauty Of Will

18

         The next day was Monday. Taylor and Annabelle had spent the night at Manny and I's house in order to avoid their mother. Annabelle slept on the couch and Taylor slept in my room.
        I know what you're thinking and I can assure you that nothing happened. My bedroom door remained open the entire night. I let Taylor borrow a pair of my pajama pants and he kept his own, black t-shirt on. I kept my pajama bottoms on but I did take my shirt off to sleep.
        Taylor curled himself into another ball at first and he basically slept with his head in my armpit. However, he shifted quite a bit after he fell asleep and ended up laying with his head against my bare chest and his arm wrapped around me. I placed one of my arms around his shoulders and the other behind my head. Then I fell asleep.

        I woke up to the sound of my alarm going off. Taylor was still laying on my chest. I shook him awake after turning off the irritating alarm.
        "What time is it?" Taylor asked as he sat up and stretched.
        "6. We had to wake up early in order to get Annabelle to school on time." I replied.
        "Ok." Taylor stood up, stretched a bit more, then picked his pants up off the floor and changed into them.
        I stood up and began to shift through the clothes in my dresser in search of the jeans I wanted to wear. I glanced at Taylor for a small second and saw that he was staring at me almost awestruck.
        "What?" I asked as I turned to look at him. He walked over to me and put the tips of his fingers gently on my waist as he continued to stare at my stomach.
        "What?" I repeated.
       "Dude, you have a 6 pack." Taylor replied. I looked down at my own stomach for a moment then back at Taylor.
        "Are you just now noticing this?"
        "Yeah."
        "I have gym with you. You've seen me shirtless before."
       "I've never looked long enough to notice anything."
       "What?"
        "I've always turned and faced the corner to hide the fact that I was blushing profusely." I grinned and looked down at my feet then back up at Taylor.
        Taylor went to wake Annabelle up as I got dressed and Manny made Annabelle a bowl of cereal.
        Taylor didn't eat. He just sat at the kitchen table talking to Annabelle.
        "So, since Terence won't be needing anything anymore, if there was something of his you want to have, just let me know and I'll get it for you." He said.
         "Like what?" Annabelle asked.
        "I don't know. Something that means a lot to you. Like if it reminds you of a happy memory."
        "What are you taking?"
         "I have a few of his shirts. I might take a few more things."
        "Why do you have his shirts?"
        "It may sound stupid, but they smell like him. It's just a comforting scent I guess." Annabelle didn't say anything. She just continued to quietly eat her cereal.
        I walked over to them and took a seat next to Taylor. He didn't look at me, he just continued to stare down at the table. I began to rub his back.
         Once Annabelle had finished eating, I drove her to school and Taylor told her to ride the bus back to their house. Then he and I drove to school.
         I had been enjoying every single day of school since meeting Taylor, but that day I was flooded with bitter sweetness. Taylor seemed to feel it too, but he more likely than not feelt a lot worse than I did.
        We got out of the Durango and I put my arm around Taylor's shoulders as we walked inside the school. I ignored the ocational looks we would get from people passing by. Taylor didn't appear to even notice that he was walking, or that I was holding him, he didn't seem to register anything at all. I walked us both into math and we took our seats in the back.
       
        Taylor spent every day after school either working at the book store, or sitting at my house and making arrangements with the morgue and other family. I helped him when I could. I would help call people and begin to get Terence's stuff given away, go on coffee runs for Taylor and I, or just comfort Taylor when he would start crying.
        After a while, just before the funeral, Taylor no longer cried while dealing with Terence's death. He began to get more involved with Manny, Annabelle, and I.
        I was pretty happy about this. I couldn't hold back the need to randomly wrap my arms around Taylor and just look down at him.
        The last time he and I kissed was when we were at Andy's house the day Terence died. I longed to kiss him again. I desperately wanted to just lift him up and press my lips against his, to taste him once again.
        Nothing else seemed to matter more than my need to be nothing less than Taylor's boyfriend. For this, I felt horrible. I knew that I needed to be Taylor's friend too, I needed to support him and do whatever I could to help make him feel better. I was being completely and utterly selfish, but if it got Taylor into my arms and gave me the chance to kiss him, then I wouldn't regret a thing.
       
        The day of Terence's funeral wasn't stormy. There was no dramatic rain or mood fitting mud puddles. The sky was blanketed in clouds though, the entire world was light grey. The kind of sky I would have loved if it was on any other day.
        I had stayed at Taylor's house that night. He needed to be home but he needed me there with him too. He slept with his head on my chest once again and I couldn't have been happier with it.
        But when the morning arrived, and as Taylor and I got dressed in nice, black clothes, I knew that it was not the day flirt with Taylor.
        Taylor and I were both wearing black dress pants with black button up shirts. Annabelle was wearing a neat black dress with a black bow in her hair.
        I drove Taylor and Annabelle to the funeral. Annabelle kept a straight face and didn't talk at all during the drive. None of us did. It just didn't seem like the time to say anything.
        We arrived at the funeral and saw that there was already a small, mourning crowed. Annabelle walked quietly and close to Taylor, and Taylor walked close to me while holding my hand. He cried silently.