Let's Roll- Larry Stylinson

Chapter XVIII

The night sky is the one thing that never seems to change. The moon changes, going through different phases every month, but the sky itself remains the same. The stars are all bright as Louis sits outside, finger tracing random patterns on the wood paneling on the patio.

When the silence became too much, Louis ventured out, wondering where Harry had gone. He searched the house but found most every room empty. Presuming Harry went out, Louis made his way to the patio, not really sure what to do with himself now that Harry wasn't around.

He wishes he could say he regretted the kiss, but that would be a lie. Kissing Harry was... new, foreign in a good way. The feeling it gave him reminded him of the feeling he got when he ran away to New York, of new beginnings and accomplishing dreams. Even now, he still wants to do it again, forever if possible. Harry seems to want the complete opposite. Louis sighs, bracing his arms behind himself, focusing on the full moon above.

Back when he had first thought of running away, he would sit outside like this. His gaze would be fixated on the sky, wondering how much of the sky would be different in New York. Louis hadn't had a chance to see when he was there, but a part of him knows it wouldn't be that different. The moon would still be high in the sky, the stars would still be shining bright, would still make Louis want to reach for them and accomplish all he's set out to do.

The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes just how little he's actually accomplished. For one, he's not even in New York. He's in Chicago, feeling once again like he's wasting away his life. Harry's rejection hours early has shattered him back to the way he had felt when he had wanted to run. Underappreciated, unwanted, and unloved. Harry had been the one to make him feel special, only to take it all away by pushing him away. Louis touches his chest, some form of pain in his heart as if it's been ripped in two. Physically it's impossible, but mentally Louis can tell his heart is broken. He hadn't even realized that he considered Harry a romantic interest until earlier, until he kissed him. It was like that was all Louis ever wanted, to be kissed by the man, to be... loved by the man.

Before, he had no idea what it was that was causing his heart to go alight. Now, he knows it was Harry. Harry's care and protection had been enough for Louis to fall, to be completely swept away. He can't believe it's even happened, but he knows the pain isn't letting up the more he waits for Harry. So he resigns himself to self-loathing, to feeling like his decision was a mistake. Maybe Harry was right in warning him that this was no game. He feels like he's been made a fool for having feelings for a man with a stone cold heart.

Or so he says. Louis knows he wasn't all stone. There was another side to him, one only Louis got to see. Of a man, not quite hardened by the evil, but insistent of it. He was calmer, kinder, had treated Louis like a gentleman. Had appeared like he cared so much for Louis, like he might have even loved him. Wishful thinking, that must have been it.

Staring at the stars lulls Louis to sleep, head tucked into the crook of his elbow as he uses it as a pillow. The breeze of the night chills him, but he can't find it in him to move, instead shrinking in on himself to keep warm. The wood floor is hard on his side, Louis knowing it'll hurt worse in the morning. Still, he lies like that for the rest of the night, wondering if he would be able to hear Harry arriving home from there.

Harry is tired when he returns, not having slept for any of the night. He slips out of his jacket and tie, ready to sleep. As an afterthought, he decides to check up on Louis, make sure he's still asleep else he'll need to have the cook prepare something for breakfast. Knocking does nothing, so Harry barges in, expecting to see Louis sleeping heavily. To his shock, Louis isn't there, nor in the connecting bathroom. He frantically calls his name as if he were to pop out from his hiding place. With no luck, he races back out, calling his name through the halls.

"Louis!" He's panicking. Harry is legitimately panicking over the boy's whereabouts. For the first time- in a long time- he can feel tears threatening to spill over. All for some boy- no- not some boy, Louis.

"Sir?" For a fraction of a second, Harry mistakes it as Louis' voice. It's only when he sees the butler in front of him that he realizes his mistake.

"Yes." He tries to keep his composure, but he's sure the butler can see right through him.

"I presume Louis is out on the patio. It's where I saw him last." Harry feels some of the tension lessen as he runs to the glass doors. A sigh of relief escapes when he sees Louis balled up outside. He throws the door open, all but shattering the glass as he tumbles over to the boy. He kneels next to him, trying to jostle him awake. Louis shivers, arms crossing to try and muster more warmth. Harry plucks the boy right off the grounds, silently cursing him for his stupidity. He should have known better. The bitter cold of the night must have gotten to him.

He brings him back to his room, tucking him up with every blanket in sight. He brings his hand to Louis' forehead, testing the temperature. He's burning up. Harry curses again when Louis' teeth start to chatter, apparently still cold. Harry would bring in every other blanket in the house if possible, but he figures it'll be of no use. Louis' already covered in four thick blankets and still appears to be freezing.

Somewhere in his panic hazed mind, he knows that this is a bad idea. Still, he sheds the rest of his clothes, uncovering Louis to do the same. He leaves both of their undergarments on, some kind of barrier at least, and then squeezes in beside the boy. His skin is like ice as he wraps his arms around the boy, tangling their legs together as well. Louis has no problem nuzzling his head right under Harry's chin, basking in the added warmth. Harry presses him closer, nosing against the boy's hair.

Harry's worst fear is being realized as he feels the way his heart reacts to having the boy so close. It's thumping in his chest erratically, the sound loud enough to reach his ears. He can feel warmth blooming, sprouting its roots from Harry to Louis, binding them with imaginary vines. Harry doesn't need to see it to know it's there, puzzle pieces fitting together. No matter what his mind claims, his heart will always know the truth. He loves the boy, maybe it's only the beginning, but he loves this boy so much. He means so much to him and losing him now would kill Harry.

Love is not a term Harry takes lightly. Love is the strongest emotion Harry knows, worse than anger or hate. It has the power to drive your life, stealing the wheel and taking you astray. It takes the scenic route, showing you the beauty of the world, of all the things you missed when you had planned on getting there faster. It slows times, the world around you becoming clouded by memories that you'll never forget, that make you believe the world has seized to move as you fall harder. It becomes all-consuming, until your world seems to only revolve around them, their eyes, lips, their entire being.

Harry can already feel it, his mind drifting to the feel of Louis pressed against him. It's heavenly, so heavenly that Harry falls asleep, his heart happily beating along with Louis'.