Fifteen Minutes of Fame

Fifteen Minutes of Fame Part 2

Oi Daryl!

For viewers at home, the words 'Hey Hey it's Saturday' broke apart on their screens and Daryl emerged from the back of the set and from an odd-looking inverted wire mesh see-through cone with arms slightly outstretched in a welcoming manner. Daryl glided effortlessly down from his weekly and familiar entrance. The background shapes that made up the shows set were painted in bright colours of reds, yellows, blues, violet, green and orange. Daryl emerged wearing a black suit, a colour he had seemed to choose more often than not to wear in recent years and perhaps due to its slimming qualities. As always, Daryl looked fresh and happy to be back again for another show. I do not recall an episode of the show, in its long reign on Australian television and ever witnessing a tired and otherwise occupied star. Daryl, smiling, welcomed the nation and the audience to the next two hours of Australian variety television.

Outside in the world beyond the studio it was ten degrees celsius. I had worn black slacks with a navy blue long-sleeved shirt and my favourite long black cashmere jacket. The time it had taken me to primp and prune this outfit earlier in the day now seemed to be in vain. There was no way my mother, or anyone else for that matter was going to see me stuck way over here in the corner, we were in no-man's land when it came to camera angles. My friends started to murmur again and I heard a scenario put forward by one of them that if things didn't improve after the next commercial break, then we'd all probably make a hasty exit. The three girls in my party had sat together which left three guys in the worst seats. We were all gentlemen! Daryl Somers had actually made his appearance before I even realised the show had started! For such a dark little corner of the studio, a lot of chatter and muttering seemed to be emanating from our six seats. I looked at my friend two seats from me and from inside his right jacket pocket he produced a hip flask. Bourbon. My friend next to me took a swig and I in turn had a quick swig too. Straight – ooooh! Felt like rocket fuel going down my throat and why I did that I don't know! Apparently we had been sprung by a few members of the band but they just laughed. The band stood side-on directly in front of us.

We were now heading into our first commercial break. The band the Cruel Sea was playing us towards a McDonald's commercial singing Talking All Day, a track from their latest album, somewhere way down the back end of the studio. Only the people sitting exactly in the middle of the audience seats would have been able to see them perform, so we over in the never never had no chance. When the station went to a break, one of the show's resident comedians, Russell Gilbert, headed towards the front row to keep the audience tempo for the next few minutes or so. Daryl joined him and he was taking quick questions from the audience. Again our section of the audience seats was being ignored. Daryl and Russell probably didn't even know we were there! Suddenly I was like a glove puppet, I have no idea what came over me or why I became so outspoken but I jumped to my feet and I called out extremely loudly, 'Oi Daryl!' 'Oi' I said!

'What do you call this', I yelled. I pointed at the spring-loaded vinyl and metal seat. I had got his attention as well as that of the entire audience of two hundred or so. Daryl came running over to my dingy corner of the studio with a look of not knowing what to find as I continued pointing.

'What the hell do you call this?' I again said loudly as he had got over to me. I motioned towards my empty seat and he looked at me somewhat confused. Russell Gilbert was laughing over Daryl's left shoulder as he too tried to see what I was pointing at. I looked at the audience who were looking at me and I looked at Daryl who was looking at me.

'I have waited three years for a ticket to this show' I said firmly but in a light-hearted way. 'And this is the best seat I can get?' I continued.

'I have to say I am bitterly disappointed Mister Somers.'

The joking continued. The audience was laughing; they were amused by my unscripted outburst. Daryl tried to console this flustered audience member and he did so well. I think the entire studio was watching, cast and crew included but it all seemed to happen so quickly for me it seemed over as suddenly as it had begun. The station was returning from its commercial break and Daryl assured me he would speak to the Executive Producer about my plight as he dashed off to his position behind his desk at the other end of the studio.