Dreamer

Going Under

I would compare my going to sleep, as almost like slipping underwater. It's quick, painless and invigorating in a way. It wakes me up, I'm more aware.

It's like walking around inside if your own head, without all the nastiness off course, but I mean the mind part. My world is my place, I can alter whatever I want, make someone be however I want. Sometimes I have to remind myself how fake this all is. I have to keep myself aware in this place, If I don't concentrate on staying aware, I think I would get so lost in my own mind that I would never wake up.

You'd think that that wouldn't be a bad thing, right? The be able to conjure up whatever I want, change whoever I want. And some of the time it is. It's an amazing thing I am able to do. But it's not real, I don't want to get lost in something that is purely fake. Purely my imagination.

I turn out on main street. People laughing, talking. They are happy, but not real I remind myself. I start walking. Looking at all the shops. My world is an exact parallel of the real world. Where you would turn left in the real world, would be just like turning right here. Even the roads are opposite. People drive on the left side. Even my father is opposite. Yes I imagined up my dad here. I even once had my mom here too, but it was too painful to remind myself of how fake she was, so I erased her. My dad on the other hand is made up of my memories. Things I remember, of how he used to be. He's clean shaven, tall. No beer gut. He still has a light in his eyes when he sees me. I walk in my house. Same house, but without the chilling paint, broken doors or windows. I am welcomed in by a smell of what I guessed was pancakes or waffles or something. Man, was I hungry. So I shoved my face, feeling full and then decided to go outside.

It was slightly windy, but sunny and warm. I walked out into the backyard and started swinging on my tree swing. Yes, I have a tree swing. And yes, it is terribly cliche. But I like it, so I don't care.

I lost myself in thought when all the sudden I heard it. A tapping sound. You have got to be kidding me. I was completely and utterly confused. What the heck? How does that even work? Either my subconscious had brought this into my world.. Which had actually never happened before. Or, someone had actually followed me here. Not again, please not again. I didn't want to talk to anyone real. I slumped down on the swing and just waited. The annoying tapping growing louder. Then, it stopped.

A tall boy walked out. Big green eyes. A few freckles and adorable curly hair. He was dreamy, that was one thing for sure. But that wasn't what I was thinking about. I knew him. Ashton.