With Love To You (Harry Styles Fan Fiction)

16. It's not over yet

(((Heart beats..... Now is the moment... Harry's leaving Paris...)))))) 

(Ruth's POV)

What was that? How can I love a guy like Harry? This is all confusing.

I went to my room, locked up and jumped to my bed like a mad woman. All the memories rewinding in my head and every time I get to the part where Harry say “I love you” my heart aches like hell. Why do I feel this much hurt? I loved him as my celebrity crush and that’s something else. But what is this?

I had an affair two years ago but it ended badly forcing me to come to a conclusion of not falling in love again. I determined not to let a guy hurt or me gets hurt. I’m afraid of break ups. I had it only once but it was huge to me. Still my heart reminds of him. Still I feel that warmth. But Harry.....

Every second he tries to protect me. Not like my ex used to. Harry really thinks about me. But how can I love him.

No, I can’t love him. I lost the whole point of being in love two years ago.

I didn’t want to get involve in these stuff. I never intended to. But now....

Someone is knocking. 

“Ruth, are you alright? Talk to me!” That’s Max.

I compared him with Harry for some time ignoring the knock. That’s when I noticed that my feelings towards Harry are way beyond what I feel for Max. More than siblings love.

Again he’s banging to the door.

'I’m alright Max. I want to stay alone. Please'

'Okay baby, but if there’s anything you need call me, will you?'

He's really worried. But I have a major problem going on right now.

I didn’t want to get up but finally went to take a shower. It always helped me to ease my pain. I’m not a cry baby but today, it’s all about crying. In both previous incidents Harry was with me sharing his heart. But now, I’m all alone, crying under the shower. Harry was really hurt by my reactions. I could sense that by his words. Every single word mixed with pain. All because of me.

This time I have to make my own decision. No parents, no family around me. I don’t want to talk about this with Juli or Max because I have given them enough trouble to deal with. I have to take the risk. I’m not going to share my responsibilities with others. I’m playing with two hearts, mine and Harry Styles. I have to come to a conclusion. I have to clean this mess and give his life back. I have to…

I think I have spent more than half the time in the shower. I got into my PJ’s and went to the bed. Only a dim light spread its wings in my room. The rest of the night was silent and finally I made my decision. Yes. I finalized the doubt in me. I think it’s not going to be a problem in my future.

I’m going to meet Harry tomorrow.

(Harry’s POV)

The entire road is empty. It’s almost sunrise.

Now I have my own mid night memory which I didn’t have before. But it’s bitter tasting.

“Why did she push me away?” I’m talking to myself again.

Is it because she’s scared or she doesn’t love me like I do? But that kiss… I cannot forget that. Our lips synced nicely. She kissed me back. But then she pushed me. Why did she kiss me back if she’s not in love with me?

Thousands of questions are shoving in my mind but none carried an answer. I finally arrived to the apartment, parked the vehicle and slide to the elevator.