Zalgo's Daughter (But A Crackhead)

1: My mama ditched me...forever

How THE HECK did I get myself into this mess?

What's up my fellow readers, my name is Prudanski and I'm gonna be 10 years old forever.

That's not something you hear everyday isn't it?

This is the story of my life you're gonna be reading.

It's gonna be awesome.

...

Who am I kidding, it'd gonna be lame, let's just get on with the story.

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My mom wanted to ditch me since I was a newborn. So that's what she did.

She didn't like my looks you see, I had eyes, and that was weird.

Sorry, that sounded okay in my head, let me try and rephrase that.

 What I meant was, my eyes were really weird. My eye color was odd, it was not common among anyone (Creepypastas maybe, but DEFINITELY not humans). But this disorder that I had, I believe that you mortals called it Complete Heterochromia .The eye on my right was red and the left one was orange and both of them had some black flecks in it. My facial structure and (most of) my bodily features were perfectly normal, except for my skin and nails.

My skin was snowy white, so white that if I ever tried, I might've been able to blend in with the hospital walls (That is what we call a horrible description, like who would even try to blend in with the hospital walls like who would even-). And my nails, already perfectly long and curled straight from the womb, with a striking resemblance to a claw.

  Yeah, I'm one of a kind. 

 I wasn't very sure about the exact details about what happened when I was born but I'm pretty sure that it wasn't pretty.

I remembered a woman running out of the hospital, most likely my mom, carrying me in a bundle of white hospital blankets. She rushed into a dark alley, and quickly scanned it seeing a few cardboard boxes, some empty glass bottles propped up against the walls of the alley, and a few bags of trash that waited at the far end. 

  She made a beeline straight for the trash.

  She walked to the bags of trash, when (I think) she was about to throw me in, a tiny ball of orange light floated out of the Dumpsters. She turned around, eyes following the ball of light, bewildered.

"What the fuck...?" She whispered under her breath (And that kids, was when the first swear word I learnt entered my vocabulary).

She stared at it for a while, until it expanded. It grew bigger and bigger until a cocoon of lava formed.

Recognizing the light and power radiating from it, she used her free hand to grip the top of the Dumpster behind her while her other arm squeezed me tight against her chest. Really tight.

"Shit." She drew in a sharp intake of breath, "Shit, shit, shit, shit." (And there goes the second word).

"Shit is correct, my dear."  A deep, threatening voice boomed from the tall pillar of light. Then a large humanoid formed. 

A dark obsidian boot stepped out from the lava, followed by another, filling the alley with loud clanks after each step, echoing against the walls. The dark outline of a giant man grew darker and darker as it neared my mother.

Then it stepped out.

And it was not a man.

Large horns protruded out of the creature's head as he stepped out of the cocoon completely, with lava dripping onto the pavement with a hiss, but never burning the floor, only sinking through it, as if going back to the centre of the Earth, where it belonged.

Why? I don't know, the laws of science  never appealed to my dad.

Oh yeah, that dude's my dad.

Anyways, he stepped out, an 8 feet tall obsidian creature, embers occasionally flying out from the cracks of his body as he spoke, creating a harsher glow of light to emit from the cracks of his naked body. He was on fire.

Oh dear, that sounded wrong.

My mother's face instantly went pale, cold sweat started running down her forehead. "Zalgo." She whispered (Yeah, my daddy's Zalgo).

 "Give her to me." Zalgo said, like the suave man he is, extending a clawed obsidian hand in my direction.

"You wouldn't want to mess with me, I have the power of God and anime on my side- HIYAAARRRRHH!" Then he busted out some nunchucks and smacked my mom upside on the head.

Kidding, I kinda wished that happened though.

 She didn't need to be told twice, she handed me- correction, threw me over to his outstretched hand and ran away.

Accused of murdering me the next day, she got sent to jail in the end. Policemen tried finding me , but they never succeeded.

 Why?

Cause I was living in hell with my dad.

Literally.

  For the ten years of my life, I was surrounded by lava, demons and creepypastas. I longed to head up to the Earth's surface, to experience what all the older and more experienced creepypastas could feel, and to kill. I've heard rumors of heros that saved the nation and villains that kill in creative ways.

  Like a certain human woman who's name was either Beyonce or LeBron James, I tell Jeff and Jane to tell me stuff but they never seem to get that stuff right, but I heard people worshipped her like a Goddess.

And another called Bustin Jeepers? Jumpin Jackers? Dustbin Eater? I don't even know anymore, but I knew for sure that this man had an army, called Beliebers or something.

The horrors I wished to experience. I have a deep empathy with this mermaid called Ariel. She's amazing.

  But other than that, my father took great care of me, he trained my combat skills, until I was trained well enough to protect myself. 

 Sometimes, when my dad had a 'Creepypastian' meeting with Slenderman and some other creepypastas, I hung out with Sally, played video games with Ben and did icebreaking games with Jeff.

  Jeff always insisted on playing "Try not to Blink" with me, which I always lost at.

Of course I lost, what's the point of playing it when your opponent had no eyelids?

  But I still had I lot of fun, I played with creepypastas, I had fun and basically lived a happy life.

   But sadly, my happy life ended when I had to go to school.

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And there you go, the edited version of Chapter One is finally out! So yeah, the other chapters will roll in soon, and I'll edit whenever I have the time to.

Until then, see ya!

~Prudence