Whispers Journey

Wishes

Life seemed to go in a loop after that. Everyday work but always free by 2:30 at the latest. Bills were covered and she was starting to build up a small savings. She went back to the library one Monday in October and looked again at the travel section. She was used to being 17 now even though if she were still home she'd be planning for her 13th birthday in a couple months, the start of the teen years but instead she was living out the end of them. No one really committed on her size much anymore mostly because she'd begun to grow and fill out. Christy and Danielle had given her makeup lessons and she kept her hair red re dying every month. She walked more like an adult now and didn't worry about kid things like Lisa Frank stickers or Go ga ga over singers on the radio. She'd fallen into a bland routine and she hated it. She was happy to no longer be in Lake Lee, MN but there were times like this when she did miss home. As she walked past store and homes decorated in orange and black for Halloween and the leaves were all turning bright oranges and golds. She wondered what her little brother would be for Halloween or if her parents would take him out Trick or Treating. Would they be scared now that she was gone that they might lose home too? They had always loved him more then her. She imagined there lives just moving on as she became a memory. She had her notebook as she began to make lists of places she'd like to go. Mexico, the Caribbean, Hawaii and Disney World. She also started thinking about what she really wanted to be when she grew up. She knew someday she'd have to go back to school, she didn't want to clean pizza pans and hotel rooms for the rest of her life. She went over to the careers section on the library and found a book that payed out every career imaginable. It detailed what classes to take in school and in college. She came upon Hotel and Restaurant management and thought "I'm already working at a hotel I'm half way there." She found a flyer on the bulletin board advertising adult GED classes at night at the High School. She took a tab and tucked it into her notebook. She didn't check any books out but had information in her notebook and her brain. Eric came by when he was done with work at 4. He did that a lot lately, they'd shared many kisses since her birthday in August but true to his word he hadn't rushed her to do anything more. She was in a fog all night, a million miles away from Big Sky out in the big world and her dreams. " I need to get my GED, I'm never going to be anything without it" The Tuesday night GED class was small and full of a diverse group of people. Some young like her who regretted dropping out of school and some older who'd had to work on family farms instead of getting and education. She did some entrance exams to see where she was academically and she'd actually done quite well. She got a big paperback book to take home and study. She was working her way through a word problem as Eric watch T.V. He started creeping closer to Whisper and running his hands over her knees, she smiled but didn't look at him. He persisted and started running his hand up the back of her shirt. She stoped reading her textbook and pushed into his hand, it was warm and rough and felt so good. Eric set the book on the floor and kissed her neck and down the front of her shirt. She was scared but she wanted this as much as he did. She pulled at his shirt and it slid off easily and she could see his smooth tan skin. She ran her hands through his thick dark hair and looked into his deep brown eyes and smiled, she melted under his touch and everything happened so fast but in slow motion all at the same time. Her head was spinning and she gave into her body's desires to be closer to his, to be one with him. He picked her up and took her to her bed and pulled off her pants, she didn't resist as she tugged at his. She was so lost in the moment and after a few painful pushes he was deep inside her and her face was pressed into his shoulder as she breathed in his sent. Then it was over, he pulled off her and got dressed in a hurry and said he had to go. She wondered if she'd done something wrong. She pulled on her t-shirt pulling it down to cover her bottom and chased him to the door "Ok, well I'll see you tomorrow I guess" he was gone and she was left sore and sad, "is this what sex is always like" she wondered. She took a shower and went to bed but didn't sleep. She was confused and scared and she didn't have anyone to explain this to her.