Some Badgers like Snakes

Jacob

"What did you do?!" I charged at Ethan, jabbing him in the chest with my finger.
He shrugged me off and laughed, "You'll get over it." He rolled his eyes..
"Why would you tell her that I liked her?!" I stressed through bared teeth.
"Calm down, it's not like you were ever gonna do it." He smirked.
"Precisely! I was never going to do it! What's wrong with you?"
My head was spinning, everything was ruined! I had finally worked up the nerve to talk to Elle and then Ethan had scared her off.
"Sheesh, sorry for helping your love life." Ethan grumbled, ignoring me and heading off down the crowded hallway.
"Just where do you think you're going?!" I called after him, a few people glanced over at me.
Ethan turned around sharply and gave his signature smile.
"I'm going to class. I don't quite make it a habit of being late."
He turned on his heel and marched off towards professor Binns' classroom.
I ground my teeth. He was so obnoxious. I would have avoided him for the rest of the day had we not had almost all our classes together.
I suffered through the next classes before heading in the opposite direction of Ethan for lunch.
I found the courtyard lacking a certain amount of Elle. As I'd become quite accustomed to stealing glimpses of her with her friends at this time, the free period felt empty. I sat under my tree, or our tree as I'd begun to consider it, and tried to accomplish a fair bit of sketching. I wasn't a major talent but I was okay with proper inspiration.
I started out picturing a simple nature scene, something to distract me. However by the time I noticed that the soft curves of the river had become waves of luscious copper hair, and the moon had transformed into a dazzling smile, it was too late.
I was far from distracted. I was fixated, utterly stuck on the thought of Elle.
Her profile grinned back at me, I could barely suppress a smile. I went with it, losing to my subconscious and allowing Elle to take over the page as well as my mind. Her long eyelashes, bright eyes, fair skin, and constellation of freckles came out of the quill as if it were, well...magic!
I sighed and continued to stare it at despite the awkward looks I was receiving.
"Almost as perfect as the real thing." I whispered to myself.
I'd outdone myself, perhaps I'd found my muse. I chuckled a bit at the thought. Elle had turned me into a lovesick goon in only a matter of days. I would have laughed at anyone I knew had they acted this way last year, but now, now I got it. I understood the hopelessness of love, scratch that, deep adoration. I didn't know if I could love Elle. I'd never given indefinite things like love any real thought. Despite this, love felt like it was supposed to be a big deal, not something you could fall into so quickly. Whatever this was, falling was the perfect example. I wouldn't say I had leaped head first into "deep adoration", I had most certainly fell. I had given it no thought, I couldn't have stopped it had I been willing to try, I had simply fallen. I had fallen down the rabbit hole and ended up in the most wondrous of Wonderlands!
I felt like a sap. I stopped thinking and started walking back towards the castle as so many others were doing. I neatly folded my parchment drawing into as many neat pieces as I could manage.  Once it was sufficiently small enough I tucked it away in the pocket of my robes. I put a spell on my pocket so it would stay closed, I was mortified at the very idea of the sketch falling out and someone like Ethan seeing it.
I walked hurriedly through the halls before getting elbowed in the side
"Hey didn't see you at lunch. Wait, were you with your girlfriend?" Ethan crooned.
I rolled my eyes, words couldn't express how annoyed I was by him right now.
"Leave me alone Ethan, you've done enough." I growled under my breath.
"Sheesh, I was just trying to help. We both know that you were never going to talk to Addison on your own." This time it was him who rolled his eyes.
"Exactly." I said sharply, looking up at him.
He paused, defiance and anger were not expressions I usually exposed.
"Why couldn't you have just left it alone. I didn't need your help." I sneered as I said the last word. We both knew what Ethan was doing was far from "friendly help".
"Whatever. You're just scared, can't imagine what of, maybe someone other than me might actually want to put up with you." He looked away from me and focused his eyes on the busy hall ahead.
I did the same. It wasn't a lie, I didn't talk to anyone other than Ethan. Elle didn't count, she was better, but secret. As far as the school knew Ethan was my only friend. I limited conversation with people like Brock and Dylan, and pretty much ignored everyone else. There was nothing wrong with them I guess, every other human being on the planet I mean, I just didn't see why they would want to talk to me; so I left them alone.
We got to class early. Ethan sat beside me reading through a long roll of parchment.
"Nope, nope, what does that even mean?!" Ethan was scratching out words like there was no tomorrow.
I couldn't help myself, "What on earth are you doing?" I asked him as he continued to mumble to himself.
"Correcting my homework. You know the one that Delilah girl did for me or whatever." He responded absentmindedly.
"You mean, Deandra, in Transfiguration?"
"Sure, whatever. The girl writes like she talks, on and on and on and on..." His eyes rolled around and around as he spoke.
I stifled a laugh imagining Deandra's chattering voice reciting the homework.
"She can't stay on topic, and uses words that might not even be words. 'Philanthropy', what is that?"
I didn't bother to correct him but found it difficult not to laugh.
"Yeah, sounds like a fake word to me." I said holding in a laugh.
He gave me a baffled look as if to say, "I know right!"
"Anyway tryouts are this weekend. You ready?" He asked, changing the subject as he gave up on editing his homework.
"Yeah, I guess." I shrugged.
"You know guys usually bring girls to cheer them on, you could invite Addison." He sang her name mockingly, it made me cringe.
"That's honestly the last thing I want to do." I mumbled, rolling my eyes.
"Sure it is." He laughed.
I was angry with him. Why did he act like everything was a joke. I knew how wretched and devious he could be, I almost missed that guy. Hanging in the shadows while Ethan plotted some scheme wasn't always enjoyable, but it was certainly better than receiving all his generous help.
I honestly couldn't believe he'd even told Addison that I liked her. I honestly hadn't even remembered Ethan's original joke until she came up to me in the hall. A random thought came to mind. What if Elle had thought that I liked Addison, not that Elle like liked me, but would it destroy any chance of her possibly...like liking me?!
It was silly and childish but real all the same. Elle was important to me, I'd finally tried to make "a move" and then it got ruined by Ethan's fat mouth.
I breezed through the rest of the day, ignoring all the kissing noises boys made at me and the giggles of girls in the hallways. Apparently word of the little incident that morning had traveled fast, really fast. I couldn't keep my thoughts off Elle, which wasn't exactly uncommon nowadays, until I eventually saw her across the dining hall. She was sitting at her usual spot with her friends, smiling and laughing, looking like she was having a fine time.
I made a mental note to try and meet up with her in the hall after dinner. It was strange she'd been feeling sick this morning but looked fine to me. I glanced up every few minutes to check on her, and continued doing so until I noticed Addison Burnbaker blushing as my gaze was directly above her head. I stopped looking up after that.
After what felt like forever dinner ended. My plan was to be "chill", bump into her "accidentally", and ask her how she was. Casual, loose, controlled.

I did none of those things.

I raced up to Elle the second I saw her in the hallway, almost knocking over a first year, and practically tripping over my robes the whole way. I called out to her and before she could answer I started talking.
"Hey, are you feeling better? I mean you were ill this morning, you look better." I was out of breath as the words tumbled out hurriedly.
I could feel my brain face palming at the sight of Elle's friends, their reactions informed me I looked as stupid as I felt. Lavender was holding back a laugh and almost failing to do so. The other girl, I think her name was Abagail or something, looked mortified.
Elle just smiled her usual, cheerful, perky, beautiful, smile and the world melted away; taking all my embarrassment with it.
"Yeah, I'm feeling much better. Thanks for asking." I could have sworn she shot a knowing look at Lavender but that didn't make much sense.
Although her warm expression was the same as always, she seemed more distant.
"So..." I said looking at my feet, kicking away an imaginary stone in an attempt to not sound too painfully awkward.
"Um, about this weekend..." I mumbled not daring to look up.
I felt my face grow red at the surprised sound on of her friends made.
"Actually, I'm sorry, I'll have to talk to you tomorrow, I really need to go." She seemed flustered all of a sudden.
I looked up in time to catch one last sliver of a smile and see her and her friends dart down the hall.
"Oh, um, sure." I whispered as she disappeared, knowing she couldn't hear me.
I stood there in the middle of the hallway, listening to the footsteps of people shuffling around me and wondering what I'd done wrong.
I knew the answer to that, I thought to myself as I sulked off towards the dungeons. Everything, I'd done everything wrong. Of course she didn't want to come watch a stupid quidditch tryouts, why would she? She'd probably tried to let me down easy, naturally I was too big of a git to understand and had continued to press her. I was so stupid sometimes!
"Whoah! What's wrong with you?" Ethan laughed as I walked in to the dorm room.
I felt my scowl turn to a snarl.
"Nothing." I growled coldly.
Dylan clicked his tongue, apparently he found humour in my being angry. The two of them laughed as I stomped over to the bed. I picked up my current read, a book of poetry, not terribly boring but not all interesting, and ignored them.
Eventually they got bored of trying to get answers out of me and quit prodding, leaving to (I can only assume) pester some first years in the common room.
When night finally fell I curled up in my bed and wished the day away as I fell into a comforting sleep.

I went to class the next morning.
Nothing interesting, or at least nothing worth telling happened before that. Serena stopped me in the hallway to try and jinx my hair, a gaggle of girls cornered Ethan asking him about the upcoming tryouts, and Brock almost ate the fork as he shovelled fork full after fork full of bacon into his large mouth. Nothing terribly unusual or terribly fascinating. My days usually revolved around potions class. The fact that I would see Elle, what I might say to her, what she might say to me, what type of flower she'd be wearing in her hair, stuff like that. I usually prepared a script, an intellectual conversation I would impress her with making her realize we were destined to be together as more than friends... but I usually got so nervous I forgot it the second I opened my mouth. I was cool like that.
She finally showed up to class wearing a crown of small yellow and white roses (I had guessed it would be daisies) and her permanent smile.
She talked friendlily with me but I felt awkward. Towards the end of the class I told her, "I'm sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have pestered you about the tryouts, it's not a big deal. You don't have to go if you don't want to. I won't be upset or anything."
Her eyes widened.
"Oh god, I'm an idiot! I do want to go, I definitely totally want to go. I'm sorry yesterday, I was still a bit sick and busy and I just...sorry." She rambled before giving me a hopeful look.
My heart skipped a beat! I was thrilled! I was ecstatic! I hadn't done anything wrong.
"Seriously?! Apology accepted! Ok, great!" I grinned.
The bell rang and I scooped up both of our books.
"I'll give you some more info on the walk to your next class. I mean, if you don't mind the company."
She smiled brilliantly and whispered softly, "I'd love the company."