After life

chapter 13 " i miss it all"

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quit recap- 

'bye Bella, i promise" he spoke in a soft whisper 

"what are we doing here i don't remember coming here with you, and what do you promise to do the homework." saffron said from her body

Luke stood up and walked away without a word.

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Why did i feel like this, like i was lost at sea with nothing in site. i felt lost sad and alone the one thing i hated the most, and that is what i was alone nothing in site around me just a hung open beach with water rolling towards me. Where petal? She always with me. i walked along the long beach with only the sound of the water lashing agents the sand, it was roaring at me. i walked but nothing change the beach became endless and more dark. there is a cold breeze with a sudden, gush  the wind try to grab me. something was happening and what i don't but i felt like the prey in some kind of game and i am losing.

i felt movement under me. it trapped my feet it was teasing me i was alone, nothing around me to protect myself or run too. but i was dead why should care. i inner thoughts were saying 'who cares your dead' and 'maybe its a sign to go somewhere, or look at something more.' i looked around, udder me nothing. the moving had stop but i started to hear screams... my mother's 

"mom, mom where are you. i need you, i love you." i screamed 

" I AM SORRY MOM CAN I COME HOME"

' I MISS YOU"  i miss you i scarred as lord as i could from the top of my lungs, 'i miss you'.i whispered to my self. i could hold it in anymore i sat on the cold sad with the clouds turning grey above me a storm was coming, i sat their quiet, my arms wrapped tightly around myself in a hug. my body gently rocked back and forth, my cheeks stained with the endless stream of tears from my glossy eyes, enduring the emotional pain that continued to hurt me. endless pain and endless days.

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Mouths went by but nothing changed only i was still dead still lost in their hearts still lost in forever. Luke did what he promised and went to search for my mum in spring break.

Spring break, sun, fresh air and freedom. it was my time of freedom and so go to parties get drunk and high (maybe) never sure about that one, now i think of it why not. i guess i never thought i would think that not even Livy would believe me. That girl is crazy.

when can i wake up from the nightmare i want to grow up i think i am loosing it.

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"bella there you are i have been looking for you everywhere then i though you always think of beaches and it bring me here in this grey place is this even a beach" petal joked "BELLA  are you okay i didn't release, are you okay?" she asked worried

"i am fine i just need to let it out, everything, the pain, the hurt, and my loss of growing up."

"Well you should now we can go leave, our walk is over we can go to heaven and be free of this pain" petal talked again "Bella we can go and forget what happened to us, i know its  awful but we can't stay here forever, we most be going.'

i understood what she was saying but couldn't go not know not unit i now its going to be okay for my family and olivia. i cant let them fall apart not now not ever there need to sand strong i can't them wast there live it hurts me to see that for them.