The Typhon Project

Chapter Four: A Kiss Between Lies

I looked away from the Red Pill in his hand. My chest tightened and my heart thrummed.

He said, "I want you to be with me . . . when I . . . ."

"When you kill yourself."

His shoulders slumped. "When I pass peacefully from this world."

"You want me to watch you die?" My voice trembled.

"I'm going to die anyway. And it's going to be awful and painful. And no one is left to take care of me. I'm alone."

My throat burned. "Alone? I thought I was with you."

"You have your mom and sister to take care of."

"I can take care of you too. My mom has offered that you could stay with us."

He sighed. "Leah, what's it matter if I die now or in a couple months?"

I let out a ragged breath, then threw my arms around him, and cried into his shoulder. He held me tight.

My words came between sobs. "I thought . . . that maybe . . . I could keep . . . just one person. Just one." I pulled away to look into his eyes. Tears wetted his lower lashes.

I reached down and closed his fingers around the pill. "I'm not ready to lose you." It sounded so selfish. But, aren't we supposed to hold tight to the people we love? The world was upside down. "Please, Graeme." Tears flowed down my cheeks. "Please."

He peered down and blinked a couple times.

"Please!"

He met my gaze and placed his hand on my wet cheek. "Don't cry, Leah. I-I won't do it."

I searched his eyes—so much sadness. "When we get back, you can get your things together and bring them to my place."

"Yeah. Yeah. I'll get my things together." He stroked away my tears. "Everything is going to be okay."

I nodded and absorbed the words. Everything is going to be okay. I wasn't stupid. I knew it was a lie. But I was into lies. They were all I had, so I clung to them.

Everything is going to be okay.

He gave me a peck on the lips. "I should get you home."

I grabbed a handful of his shirt and tugged him back to me. I kissed him as though I were suffocating and his kiss was a single precious breath. "Can't we stay just a little longer?"

He glanced toward the lake puddle and sighed. "Of course. Of course we can." His lips touched mine, soft and gentle, but then turned firm and needful.

I slid my hand up his arm and rounded it over the soft skin on his bicep.

He combed his fingers through my hair. I dragged him with me as I fell back onto the blanket. I threw my leg over his hip. His hand ran up my hip until it found the small of my back, and he thrust me closer.

******

Afterward, I lay in the safe cocoon of his arms. I took in every sensation—his scent, the sound of his heart beating, his warmth. Something inside me whispered that I might never experience any of it again.

He kissed my forehead.

A hint of deep purple drew an outline the eastern horizon. Wordlessly, we dressed then hurried to his truck.