Recovery || Bucky Barnes

05 | Furnace

Печь

"guilt; the gift that keeps on giving." – Erma Bombeck

★★★

It was five am when she woke up.

Her hands pushing her hair away from her face as she sat up, her legs touching the floor. The room was beginning to feel like it was closing in as she rubbed her head. Her mouth felt dry and she was debating whether she could get up to get a glass of water without collapsing. She slowly regained control over her breathing and headed towards her kitchen. She retched, letting her body empty all of its contents as tears fell from her eyes. She cleaned herself up when she was done and could still taste the acid in her mouth.

The smell of ash and blood filled her nose. What had she done for those people? She had done whatever was necessary for them in that place and now here she was doing it all over for them.

"Bailey, Sanderson, Thompson, Guerra... Hernandez."

Tess felt the grief hit her with full force. Images of that man she had seen in her dreams, surrounded by fire flashed before her. His face as distorted as it was before but she could still feel his eyes piercing into her. What had she done to him?

She dropped the knife before she collapsed onto her knees. The air in her lungs being ripped from her as she tried to maintain composure. But she was hunched over, hands gripping the front of her shirt. Her body was beginning to become clammy as she desperately tried to stop the tears from falling.

It didn't take long for her to realise that she wouldn't be able to sleep again. And, with the countless nightmares that plagued her sleep, she couldn't care less that she was awake. When there were no tears left and the fatigue had begged her to stop, she got up. She let out a breath before facing herself in the bathroom mirror. She brushed her teeth and washed her face, staring at her reflection as she processed what had happened.

Taking out a sports bra and black leggings she slipped them on. She pulled on her sneakers as she used her other hand to grab her phone, wireless earphones and keys. She put her earphones in and played whatever she had, not caring what genre it was as she locked the door. Anything was good, as long as it was loud enough to stop her mind from thinking.

Once she left the building she started to jog, her legs finding comfort in using the strength and the ability they had. She headed towards the Potomac river, knowing that Steve usually jogged through the National Mall and would be headed towards the river now. She tried to forcefully push the thought of him away from her head. It might have seemed ill-advised for her to start jogging when she hadn't even checked surveillance to see if the area was secure. He could be dead because of her, she had sent them their co-ordinates without thinking twice.

It was on her now to make things right.

HYDRA didn't know she was on to them and she needed to use that to her advantage. But right now, she needed to take a few a minutes to clear her head. There was too much at stake and she needed to make sure that she wouldn't make any moves that could show her hand.

The air hitting her warmed skin was refreshing. The sun was yet to rise from the horizon, but she could see the streaks of orange and purple across the sky. It was the smallest things that managed to lift her spirits from the depths of darkness inside her. She hadn't thought of taking this route before and she understood why Steve enjoyed it. Though his company most likely helped.

She noticed the figure of a man jogging not too far ahead of her. He was clad in a dark purple shirt and dark gray shorts. She didn't have to exert more force to catch up to him, though when she was almost getting towards him she made herself sound out of breath. She pulled out her earphones, so she didn't seem rude.