Recovery || Bucky Barnes

10 | Freight Car

Грузовой Bагон

"truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." – Bob Morley

★★★

She had been walking through the exhibition for a while, checking over exits and blind spots in the security cameras. The news had created more trouble for her since the release of her 'name' and her involvement with HYDRA. She was eating twizzlers as she strolled casually with a few pamphlets in her hand to blend in with everyone else. Her eyes scouring the faces of people as they moved around her, looking for someone in particular.

She knew it was him.

His presence was overwhelmingly familiar. His shoulder length hair sticking out beneath a baseball cap and his fingers hidden beneath black gloves. He was standing in the Captain America exhibition, specifically the area that recognized Bucky Barnes. It must've felt unsettling to see his unaged face displayed freely for the public to view. People walking past, unknowing that he had been captured and brainwashed all these years.

She didn't know what to say to him. The emptiness in her chest had never felt so heavy and her mind was flurrying with thoughts. He had left for a reason, she knew that. He needed time to comprehend what had happened during the times he had missed, to align himself with the man he used to be. But he had abandoned her, just like everyone else.

It was her fault, for getting caught into this mess. He had sacrificed himself for her to escape, perhaps in the hopes that she would return and free him. But she did the very thing she was trained not to become, compromised. Her recklessness caused her injuries and the damage was lasting. Her damage had caused him several more years under HYDRA. Until now.

Her shoulders brushed past strangers as she edged towards to the still figure. She threw away the empty packet she had and kept the last twizzler in her hand. Her heart was pounding, and doubts bloomed, maybe something this public was a bad idea. Her fingers strummed on her leg as an output for her nervousness. before she finally stood beside him.

"You found me." He glanced, his voice strained with an emotion she couldn't recognize.

"You're disappointed." She noted, biting into the twizzler she had in her hand.

"Only that you didn't come sooner."

She looked at him, her surprise quickly masked before he could catch it. She took the opportunity to look at him. Exhaustion was clearly displayed on his face yet there was a flicker of amusement in his eyes. She folded her arms and looked straight ahead, chewing and swallowing the piece she had in her mouth.

"What're you gonna do?" She asked.

"Haven't figured it out." He paused, glancing in her direction. She noticed how his eyes softened when they landed on her. "What about you?"

"Had a few projects but they're on hold. Got busy looking for someone."

"Were they worth finding?" He asked curiously.

"Haven't figured it out."

He smiled at that, shaking his head a little as he began walking. The crowd seamlessly moving past him as she trailed behind, discreetly looking over her shoulder as she went. It would take less than a second for something to go wrong, even if she had the Winter Soldier by her side. It wouldn't take more than a few words for him to turn against her, she remembered that clearly.

"It's dangerous." He said seriously as they halted to look at the displays. "Being with me."

"That's not enough to scare me off, James." She tutted before finishing the twizzler. If he was surprised by the use of his first name – he didn't show it.

"It should." He let out a shaky sigh, his eyes on his left arm. "They'll kill to get to me."

"Then they'll die trying." She let herself voice that untamed anger, her fingers digging into her palm as she clenched her jaw. She took a breath, calming her rocky emotions. "Besides, we've always worked better as a team."

He looked at her blankly.

"I'll be the disappointed one if you don't remember at least one of those nights."

The look of perplexity shifted to something she couldn't recognise. She bit back anymore words as she glanced away, unsure if she had overstepped or not. She should let him remember events on his own, not guilt him when he couldn't. He didn't seem to follow her thinking when his fingers lightly interlaced with hers. He started walking again, pulling her along with him.

"I remember." He said softly, squeezing her hand delicately. "Every single one of them."

She stared at him, a strange feeling of comfort flooding her system. They stopped again but this time it was near the back exit and she felt their hands untangle. He looked at her carefully. She wondered if she had come all this way only for him to give a her a formal goodbye.

"Let me come with you." She said, her feelings taking control of her words.

He didn't say anything. His eyes trained on the floor, his jaw clenching before he looked back at her. There was a vulnerability within them.

"I can't." She closed her eyes to stop the tears from forming. "I can't lose you again. I know the things I've done were wrong now. They're my actions, my responsibility. Even when I had a choice, I still chose them." She shook her head in disbelief, swallowing the guilt. "Now I'm trying to make things right. I want to choose you." She could hear the words in her head and she was unsure if she should say them. The vulnerability of it all was weighing on her as she back at him. "I... I love you."

She didn't see it coming.

His gloved palm gently lifted her chin, his other one tugging her lower back towards him as he set his lips on hers. It was like the past and the present had melted into one and it was intoxicating. She desperately tried to tame the fire that ignited within her, wanting to savour the moment. Her hands snaked across his chest and rested on the nape of his neck, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. When they had managed to stop so they could take a breath, she couldn't help but pause before laughing at the barely contained grin he had on his face.

"I was looking for something all this time. Looking for..." He trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"The road to recovery." She finished for him and he nodded slowly.

"But I think I've found it," he looked at her warmly. He paused in deliberation. "I don't think I can leave without you, Alina."

She felt her fingers threading through his hair, her lips curving into a smile.

"I don't think you can, James."

The End.