Love Yourself

Wall Flower

"Hey Yaz come dance girl!" "Are you just going to hold up the wall all night?" My best friend Maya said as she walked up to me from the dance floor. Her dark brown skin glistened with sweat from the show she just put on for the crowd. Maya was always the life of the party any time we went out. " No I'm just waiting on the perfect song." I lied knowing I had no plans on making my way to the dance floor tonight. "That's what you told me last time Yazmine and we've already been here two hours" she said putting her hands on her hips. I looked away trying to find an escape . " Lets go get a drink" I said smiling at her. she glared at me " Alright but before the night is over you owe me a dance" she said before we started walking towards the kitchen. " Nobody wants to see my big behind moving around on the dance floor" I said jokingly. " What!" Maya said as if I offended her. I was confused "Is that why you're not dancing Yaz seriously" she asked her voice became concerned. " look let's just enjoy the party I'm not trying to get all deep and have a moment right now" I laughed her off not wanting to press the issue. I wanted to dance with my friend but I let my insecurities hold me back like always. I was overweight and didn't want to risk the embarrassment of dancing next to Maya's small 5'3 frame. As we made our way thru the crowd of people dancing, smoking and conversing into the packed kitchen we found ourselves in line for the drinks. We were at yet another house party that maya dragged me too. I didn't mind coming sometimes but this was Maya's thing. We were sophomores in college at Atlanta tech and living in the city It was a party every day seemed like. Still underage, house parties were the go to. No I.d. Required and we were sure to get alcohol with no problem. We finally made it to the front of the line to the fake bartender standing behind a table which was just a girl from campus mixing tequila with your choice of pineapple of cranberry juice. We grabbed our drinks and made our way back into the crowd. In the short distance from the kitchen back to my spot on the wall Maya turned down five dances. "They love you girl" I joked with her " I know right I can't get them up off me" she said winding her hips. We laughed. " Please come dance I promise you will enjoy it" I thought about it and I still was uncomfortable "I can't dance you know this." Maya rolled her eyes and downed her drink "Well Yaz you can stand over here and babysit that drink and hold up this wall but I'm going to enjoy myself" she walked off to the dance floor. I cursed myself because I really wanted to join her but I was just not about to play myself like that. I told myself with every song that played "this is the one" but I never moved. I held up the wall all night and watched everyone enjoy themselves.