Love Yourself

On the Defense

Laying in my small twin sized bed in my dorm I looked up at the ceiling. My roommate forgot for the tenth weekend in a row to turn her weekly alarm off. I've reminded her every week seems like. "Noel ... Noel" I called over to her twice she didn't seem to hear me which wasn't a surprise cause she didn't hear the loud alarm going off over her head. I just got up and turned it off no need to cause conflict when there was a simple solution. It was Saturday morning I had planned on sleeping in to regroup from all my wall standing last night but since I was up I decided to catch breakfast before the cafe closed for the morning. I picked up my phone to call Maya to join me. "Hello" she said in a groggy voice. I should've know she was still sleep she danced enough for everyone twice. "Hey I'm headed to the cafe to catch breakfast before it's over you want to come with me." I asked already knowing the answer. " Yaz it's seven o'clock in the morning we just got in three hours ago I'm not going anywhere." I rolled my eyes but it was true we made it back to campus well pass curfew and had to sneak back in.  "Well alright girl get your rest I'll just ask Shay" Shay was our other friend who never seemed to be around because she was always with her man. "Good luck with that" she hung up. she knew like I knew Shay was probably booed up with Lou and was not coming either. I didn't even bother calling her I just made my way to the cafe. Walking into the cafe it was still early so it was still kind of empty which was great I didn't want to be seen eating alone. The fat girl that had to make it to the cafe as soon as they opened. I looked down feeling embarrassed by my own thoughts. I walked over to the buffet to fix my plate. Everything looked so good but I didn't want to go overboard. I found a seat next to the window so I could look out at the campus and enjoy my breakfast. "Hey do you mind if join you" I looked up to put a face with the voice it was Jamal he was on the football team. He was tall about 6'3 he had a caramel brown complexion he had a muscular build you could see how toned he was thru his Atlanta tech hoodie. I've admired him on campus a few times. His gorgeous smile and full beard always caught my attention. "Um" I said with a mouth full of food. He looked at me and chuckled "Well can I" I looked around there was plenty of empty tables why this one I thought to myself. I immediately became defensive was this some type of joke. "Why do you want to sit over with me I know you see all of these empty tables" he took a step back with a shocked face. " Well I actually saw you eating over here alone and thought I'd join you since I was alone as well but never mind because clearly you rather sit over here by yourself." He said with a slight attitude I felt horrible but I wasn't used to any guy especially not a guy like Jamal approaching me. At this point I didn't know what to say. " Yea I want to be alone" I cursed myself as soon as the words came out of my mouth. He just shook his head and walked to another table and began eating his breakfast. I couldn't believe how rude I was I couldn't even finish my food. I got up emptied my tray and left.