That night I decided to tell the boys something.
"Something" being the fact that I was a self-harming lesbian. Harry and Louis would obviously be fine with it, or at least the lesbian part. But I was pretty sure that they would be unhappy with the self-harm. I mean, they just adopted a freak. Maybe they would return me to the orphanage, if you can even do that. I wondered if they could.
Maybe they got a receipt or something.
I ignored the thought and headed out the door of Louis and Harry's bedroom. My room would be done in a matter of days, so I would only be rooming with the lovebirds for a few more nights. Nervousness overcame me as I stepped into the carpeted hallway. I slowly lingered down the stairs. I knew I was trying to kill time. The later I could do this, the better. Maybe I could avoid it forever. Maybe.
But then I realized that they were my DADS, and they had a right to know the real me, whether she was a freak or a beauty queen or a blogger extraordinaire. I was a freak. And if a diary counts as a blog, then a blogger.
I basically just want to avoid telling you what happened next.
Liam sat me down next to Niall at the dinner table. Throughout the course of the meal, half of the food was in my stomach, the other half was in Niall's. He had periodically been stealing from my plate through the meal, and I had pretended not to notice.
After dinner, we decided to watch a movie, and I went with the strategy of suggesting "I'm a Self-Harming Lesbian" as our movie choice. Zayn actually started searching Netflix for it when Liam picked up on my words and turned back in my direction.
"Pardon me?" he demands, but his tone is gentle.
I launch into explanation, ending my notorious story with, "I've been cutting and burning ever since July."
The room fell into shocked silence and I wondered if I made the right choice to tell them.
