(for the record, she get sick the week that ryn leaves, not that day...)
DEVON P.O.V.
3 weeks. i have been alone now for three weeks. Zander is always out with his new boyfriend. pft like i didn't know he was gay? he's a terrible liar. Ryn and i had know since before he did. it was so obvious. and Ryn... she been with josh every second of every day... hell she even stays at his house sometimes. i asked her about it and she just told me they were doing this "cleanse" together. i knew what was really going on. i knew they were sleeping together. it hurt me just to think about. she knew how i felt about him! she knows that i have the biggest crush on him! not to mention she has a boyfriend! Rob... who, incidentally, she took from me. this always happens! well if josh thought she were so perfect then i guess ill just need to one up her.
i knew she was beautiful. i knew she was thin. i knew she did her make up better than i did, well ill just have to be prettier, thinner , and do my make up better. might as well start with the easiest. i went to the bathroom and shoved my toothbrush down my throat. my dinner came up quickly and i smiled. well thats that i guess... then i remembered that we had a band meeting/breakfast later. i couldnt avoid eating... oh well ill just bring my toothbrush in my pocket.
*AT THE BREAKFAST/MEETING W/ DBDO AND MT*
(Ryn p.o.v.)
i haven't been home in three weeks. i haven't seen any of my friends or even my band mates since i told josh. i had been staying with him at his hotel because this is what he called "total immersion" meaning i am so immersed in thought that i have no time to think about drugs, or smoking, or drinking or anything. hes had me swimming, running, writing, singing, drawing. its been exhausting. and to make it worse we both have insomnia so i could never be alone. i have to admit though, i am looking much better, some of the dark circles are going away. i was still pretty thin though. however, today was the day i was going to tell my band about my problem. josh had been really patient with me about this. he wasnt even sure i should do it today. i knew i had to though. the longer i waited the less of a chance that i would ever tell them. i hope they understand.
Zander looked happier than i had ever seen him. i wonder if he got a boyfriend while i was away... i hope so! tehee i forgot that he doesnt know that Devon and i know that hes gay. that boy seriously needs to put a lock on his phone ;)
Devon on the other hand looked awful. she looked like me when i was on drugs. she was so thin! and she had really dark circles under her eyes. she looked like she hadnt eaten in weeks. i didnt know what was wrong with her but she didnt look good. she must have just seen us because she waved and i noticed something that i wish i hadnt. she was wearing a long sleeved white t-shirt with a broken heart on it reading "devon's broken hearted life" in calligraphy. i had that shirt made for her for her 18th birthday. however, when she went to wave to us i noticed little red marks on the sleeves that looked like blood was seeping through them. i couldnt believe it. she was self harming? she would never! she was the one who would give half of her pay every month to the foundation that helps kids stop doing that! why would she ever even start? i looked over to josh to see if he had noticed. by the look on his face i was pretty sure he had noticed something.
"did you see it?" i whispered to him
"the red marks, the dark circles, or the inhuman paleness and thinness?" he whispered back sounding troubled.
" why would she start something like that? i thought she donated every month to the butterfly project?" josh asked
"she does. we've only been gone for three weeks! how could this have happened so fast?" his answer was cut short when Devon walked up.
