Love at First Slice (IN SERIOUS EDITING)

Flappy Dog

ch. 5 Flappy Dog

Last night, prior to my departure to dream land, I voyaged into the land of mobile blogging. Whilst on that journey, I made a pitstop to InstaLand. There, I noticed a collective gathering of likes and comments, and seeing I hadn't posted anything, I decided to investigate.

Then there, as clear as day, was a picture, no selfie, taken by Josh. (Lips smooshed together in such a way that they were sticking out, also known as "duck lips", and a peace sign. Oh, lord) I clicked on it and read the caption:

"charlottesimmonss: nice feed you got here. lots of hunger games and harry potter, huh? & thanks for letting me stay over and stuff. i already put my number into your phone, cause im a smooth son of a bitch (im kidding my mother is very kind) aannd that's it.

p.s.- nice music taste

p.p.s.- i followed myself too"

This basically put me into cardiac arrest. And I reevaluated my life choices as I scrolled through the winky-faced comments. Not that there were a lot of them, I'm not popular. But there were enough to make me want to chuck my phone through the wall.

Nonetheless, I fell asleep, and dreamt of blanket forts and Cheetos.

-----

"Gah!" I cry in response to the two heads peering over me.

"You looks so cute when you sleep!" Alex gushes.

"Yeah, you're less annoying," Comments Casey. I glare at her.

"Ha, ha, ha," I say monotonically. "Now what do you want? I was sleeping, in case you didn't realize."

"We're not stupid," Alex snaps. "We want to know all of the details about last night!"

I groan. "You guys are so nosey!"

"Hey, my best friend was home alone with an extremely attractive stranger. I have the right to know what went on!" She protests.

"Besides," Casey adds. "It's not like you have a choice. I know all of your weaknesses." She looks at me evilly.

"Fine!" I expode, after Casey's stare takes full effect. "I'll spill,"

So I proceed to tell the miraculous tale of me not completely dying in Josh's presence. They gape at me, awestruck. I can't blame 'em, I'm pretty shocked myself.

"And then, before I went to bed, I saw this," I explain as I show them the Instagram post I have yet to delete. Alex takes it from my hand, reads it and, then passes it onto Casey. She reads it, then gives it to Alex, who gives it back to me.

"How did you not die?" Alex cries, exasperated.

"Someone's got a crush on Charlotte," Casey says in a sing-song voice. I look at her.

"Oh, ha ha ha," I sneer sarcastically. "Come on, guys. Let's be realistic here."

"We *are* being realistic here," Alex says pointedly. "I mean, if I were a guy, I'd date you. No homo or anything."

"Well, I'd agree, but I'm your sister and that'd be incest," Casey agrees. "But you're not ugly."

"Yeah, yeah," I wave them off. "Whatever, guys. What's for breakfast?"

-----

"I HATE THIS BIRD I SWEAR TO FU-"

"Hey, hey, hey," Dylan warns his best friend. "Language, Casey."

"Seriously, Case," Alex asks through a mouthful of waffle. "You haven't even touched your PopTart. What's up?"

"This stupid excuse for a bird is the problem!" She cries exasperatedly, throwing her phone onto the counter, only to pick it up seconds later. She taps a few times, then erupts into a pained "AURGHHH!" She raises her phone over her head in attempt to throw it, but Austin slips it out of her hand from behind her.