Scandalous

Chapter Nine

Misery seems to creep up every time I push it away, even when I’m happy. My thoughts are clouded with questions, but I don’t ask any of them. I just stay silent and watch, like a wallflower. His actions, words, everything seems off. But so do mine.

We haven’t discussed the drunken “I love you” that was said. He doesn’t even remember it actually. We woke up that morning and he just looked at me and said, “You look terrible.” Something changed in his eyes that night and they haven’t been the same since, but he doesn’t recall a thing. I don’t think anyway. He never brought it up, but it only took me a minute to remember everything that was said; but then again I wasn’t as drunk as him. I’m not going to bring it up to him; he was drunk, he didn’t even mean it and if I put him in that situation, he would probably end what we have now; whatever we have.

So, now I sit at my kitchen table, blankly staring at the tablecloth, wondering what the hell I’m going to do. Ever since he told me those words, it got me thinking. Do I love him? Of course I’ve thought about it before, but never seriously. He was just supposed to be a guy to fool around with and have fun; nothing serious.

The front door opens and a second later footsteps approach the kitchen. Both pairs of feet stop by the table and I feel eyes burning through me, hot as fire.

“Stella, what’s up?” Jessie asks.

“What do you mean?” I question.

“You’ve been totally spaced since your birthday. What happened that night?”

I guess I forgot to mention I’ve been “totally spaced” for three days. “Nothing.” I shrug.

“Ashton keeps asking me what’s wrong with you, but I don’t know how to answer.”

“Then don’t.”

“Have you talked to him?”

“No.”

“Are you guys fighting?” Erin asks.

“No, God! I’ll over there right now.”

“Thanks,” she cheers.

I roll my eyes and stand up. I need to get out of this house anyway. Mom and Dad aren’t home, so I grab my keys and walk outside to my van with them following. They give me a smile as I climb in my van, but I flip them off and back out of the driveway.

Why is everyone so concerned with me and Ashton anyway? We’re just friends, nothing real, so why is everyone flipping shit? I push the thought out of my mind and drop by Wal-Mart first.

There’s a bright blue toaster on sale for ten dollars, so I throw it in my cart and roam the store for other items. For some reason I end up with a toaster, a two litter of Pepsi, chips, and a bag of pizza rolls. Plus plastic cups.

I walk in Ashton’s front door and set my groceries on the kitchen table. Why he keeps his front door unlocked is beyond me. I don’t even think he’s here, so I guess I’ll leave. Oh well, I tried.

“Stella?”

So close. I turn to face him as he stands in the doorway. “Hey,” I say.

“What are you doing here?”

“Uh, I don’t know.” I shrug. “I wanted to see you.”

“Why? You’ve been avoiding me for three days.”

“Uh, yeah, sorry. So… have you talked to your sister?”

“No.” He walks over and sorts through the bags with a strange look on his face, before grabbing the box with the toaster in it. “What is all this?”