Thinking Freedom

-Momento-

Chapter 1-

Everything started to fade. There was nothing in my around anymore. Everything got silent, my heart started to beat fast and my eyes stared. My mouth opened slowly just enough to let the small gap between my teeth show a little. I stopped hearing for a moment, I could only hear my breathing. It felt like an eternity, I was nervous.

It changed everything in my my life, it changed me. It's stuck in my head. I never knew that such a small word could be so enchanting. Oh, goodness!

It all started with a "Hi".

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One small word can change everything. It can mark your life. It can even change your life too. Just one small word with small letters can change the whole wide world. Words can be good, words can be bad, we all have to be careful with what we say. A word can lead to some ones happy-ness, depression... even someones death. It can ruin some ones life, or it can revive you. It can give joy to anything and it can change anything. We choose to say things that sometimes we don't mean to say, and some of us know that we shouldn't have said a specific word or sentence, but we still choose to say! Why? I don't know, we just do. Some moments we are just very hard headed and we act like it unconsciously, we just think of our selves. People are stupid! Including me.

"Why the hell did you do that?" Charlie asked. "I don't know, I just did!" I answered him feeling very annoyed already.

Charlie is my older brother, my only brother actually. We've been living together for two years. We don't live with our parents.

Long story, short! My mom and dad weren't normal actually. They were sick on my perspective. They were both schizophrenic, BOTH of them. It is very unbelievable. It was really hard to live with schizophrenics in one house. Mom and dad learned how to control them selves but some times they would get really out of control. My mom was worse. Hers was Schizophrenia Paranoid Subtype, also known as Paranoid Schizophrenia.

She would always hallucinate and hear strange voices. Sometimes she would hear my dad calling her and it wasn't really him. It kinda always happened when he wasn't at home. She really freaked out in those moments. It was really funny actually because she would always freak out in a way that made you laugh. Well, at leas I tried, I'd get really worried. If I laughed or smiled, she wouldn't get so "crazy". When she'd see Charlie and me acting like if nothing wrong was going on she'd calm down quickly. She always wanted to be careful when she had her "crazy" moments.

She had a really good sense of humor, she was very nice though. Very funny too. Oh, I remember when she used to make really "funny" jokes (they never were). But they were jokes that would make you laugh because of how not funny they were. It just made you laugh. The best moments were when we all laughed for no reason, we just wanted to be with each other all the time and enjoy our moments together.

My dad loved my mom so much, he was madly in love with her. You could see it in his eyes, his actions, the way he treated her and the way he looked at her. He could stare at her for hours. My mom was very pretty, she had hazel eyes, sometimes they looked green. She had dark brown hair and a contoured, delicate nose. She had an amazing smile and she smiled allot. I think that was one of her hobbies; smiling. Damn, she never, ever stopped smiling. The day she'd stopped smiling it would've been like the end of the world for everyone. I've always wanted to be like her, she was just so BEAUTIFUL. In other words, PERFECT. She was my role-model.

My mom died when I was 14 years old. The night before she died, she had an amazing moment with dad. It was the day after their 15 wedding anniversary. Dad had everything planed. He made dinner for her. I had to help him, or else the house would get burnt. He was such a bad cook. I don't remember the last time he cooked for me and Charlie.

He cooked dinner for mom and he put candles, slow music was surrounding the house and white Christmas lights all over the living room and in the kitchen; It was very peaceful, very romantic, it was something simple. Mom loved simple. Mom got home from work, she looked so exhausted. Mom was very surprised when she opened the door and saw how pretty dad decorated the house, she was so happy, she had a huge smile on her face. I know she wasn't expecting it to come. I know she fell even more in love with dad. When mom and dad finished their dinner they, well uh... They got really "intimate". I chuckle every time I think about it.

Charlie wanted to hide in their closet to see all the action. He was such a pervert back then, he still is though. I didn't let him do it or else, if he did I would tell mom and dad that I caught him stealing money from their hidden safe. I don't know how he found it.

My dad told me of the moment when he realised that mom wasn't breathing.

He woke up in the morning and he did what he would usually do to wake up mom, he kissed her all over her face and her neck in a gentle and loving way. Dad told me that when he kissed her nose he didn't feel air coming out. He called her name many times to see if she would wake up, but she didn't. She was a little pale and her chest wasn't moving.

I remember that dad woke me up because of his screaming. I went to their room to see what was going on and what I saw really frightened me. Dad was holding mom in his arms and he was crying.

Dad was brushing moms hair with his fingers, and sobbing. "Julia, baby wake up. Please wake up." My dad whispered in mom's ear. Mom didn't respond. "Charlie". He shouted calling my brother. Charlie ran out of the kitchen.

"What's going..." Charlie went silent for a second. "Mom?" Charlie said very low, only I could hear it. You could hear the sadness in his voice. He seemed confused, he was shocked, I was too. "Angela, come on." Charlie pulled my arm, I wasn't reacting. My mind was still trying to process the image that I couldn't stop staring at. Everything was happening so fast.

Everything changed since the day that mom died. Everything is different. No one knows why mom died not even the doctors know. She was just fine the day before she died, she was too fine I'd say.

I was mad when the doctor said that he couldn't find or figure out the cause of her death. She just stopped breathing the doctor said. Till then, I am still mad... because I lost my one and only friend; my mom. I am still figuring out why she died.