Wait.
Where am I?
Why is everything so light?
I thought I died.
Why didn't I die, damn it!
I think all these things
Before I open my eyes.
But, where am I?
I realize: agony.
I am still in agony.
The agony was supposed to fade.
I slowly open my eyes.
I actually look around now.
What the hell?
I'm floating.
How am I floating?
I look down.
The ocean is flowing beneath me.
I look up
I can see the sky.
And, worst of all:
I can see a body.
On the rocks.
Next to me.
It is mine.
My face is frozen with peace.
I never really noticed my face before.
Not looking at it like this, anyway.
Then it really hits me.
I'm DEAD.
I really did it.
Wow.
I look up at that cliff.
And I can see the outlines of people there.
Within a millisecond,
I am next to them.
Agony.
Their faces are full of pain.
Regret.
I can feel their overwhelming regret.
One of them,
A tall young woman.
Is on her knees.
She is the closest to the edge,
And she is shaking.
Eva.
Oh, Eva.
My sister.
I'm sorry Eva.
She is so close to the edge,
I don't like it.
But then,
My brother puts his hand on her shoulder.
She looks up at him,
But then looks past him.
At me.
What the hell?
"Astrix?"
She stands up and stumbles toward me.
How can she see me?
Everyone around us looks at me too.
But I can tell none of the others can see me.
Only her.
Only Eva.
"No, Eva."
My brother says softly,
Pulling her back toward him.
Alec cannot even see me.
Eva's eyes fill with tears.
I am horrified.
Eva can see me.
She reaches for me.
I can't stand her pain.
I can feel her pain ripping my insides apart.
So, I turn away.
And find myself
There.
In our old fort.
I realize that I am still floating.
Just a little off the ground.
With a agonized sigh,
I feel myself lower to the floor.
It is so cold.
I gasp at the touch of it.
Why can I even feel it?
What the hell kind of Heaven is this?
Then, I realize that it isn't either.
The word comes slowly to my mind...
It is not a Heaven.
Not a Hell.
It is
The After.
