I become aware of myself suddenly.
“Astrix?”
Damn.
I should’ve known that Eva would figure out that I am here.
I am floating still.
I straighten as I hear Eva’s footsteps on the cement below the building.
Where can I hide?
Should I just leave?
Before I can do much,
Eva is suddenly in the room.
Damn.
I hate the fact that I keep losing time.
I meet Eva’s eyes hesitantly.
Backing away from her closeness,
I watch her eyes widen.
“Astrix? I, I can see you.”
Duh, sis.
I wonder if I can speak to her
In this transparent state I am in.
No, I won’t say a thing.
I will ignore her.
I turn away from her.
Act as if I cant see her.
I look out the open window.
Trying to ignore her heavy breathing
And the agony she is in.
“Astrix.”
Her voice is breaking my hold.
I will not look at her.
She does not exist.
She is not crying.
I am dead and am somewhere else.
But my lies are not working.
And somehow, I am still here.
“Baby,” she is crying worse now.
My heart and hold is broken.
I turn around.
And meet her eyes.
“Eva.”
I state simply,
Trying not to show her my regret.
She jumps slightly.
Ok, so she can hear me.
“You, you, you died, Astrix.”
I wait before replying.
“I know Eva.”
She turns away from me this time.
She faces outside the window and watches a bird fly across to its nest.
“You can hear me. I can see you…How?”
Like I freaking know.
I don’t reply.
She takes this as my answer.
“Mom is hysterical.”
Yeah, thanks. Cause I wanted to know that.
“Alec won’t talk to me.”
Is she trying to make me feel guilty.
I won’t.
I’m dead.
I refuse to feel guilty.
Because I was finished with my life.
But apparently, my life wasn’t finished with me.
I stare out the window at the mountains far away.
“Astrix.” I jump slightly.
How long had she been calling my name?
I look at her and realize that we are in my room.
What the Hell?
“You followed me home.”
“Oh.” I whisper.
She is looking at me with pity.
Pity? Really?
I am dead.
I don’t want pity.
I want peace.
“Look, Astrix. Can you leave me alone?”
Ok. So she is in the angry phase of loss.
I am okay with that.
And with that thought,
I find myself in the fort again.
I sigh.
Why am I still here?
