Hello! This is Paige and I this is my first review with WDKN, I hope I don't screw this up, and that you are happy with your review:) littlefanficwriter13
Here goes nothing:
Title Relevancy: Changing Lives 5/5- I think it fits the theme and feel of the story quite well and gives the reader an idea of what it will be about, but they still need to read the story to find out, so full points yay!
Cover:
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4/5- Being a graphic creator myself, I feel like you could improve a bit on the cover to make it more inviting. As much as we don't want people to judge by the cover, they do and a well thought cover will draw the readers attention to the story. I would recommend Pic Collage for beginning graphics if you don't want to ask someone.
Story Summary:
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7/10- I personally feel like it doesn't describe the story as well as it could. It's kind of confusing with the last part, some people might wonder how her grades would make her make a decision that makes her fall in love with a boy. It's not terrible, but there could definitely be some improvement :) Possibly by making it more ominous and describing more of how she meets Dan.
Grammar/Spelling: 9/10- Your spelling is incredibly good and you use a wide range of pronouns, adjectives and verbs. Your grammar could use a little bit of work though. Like where you place your commas, sometimes they're there when they don't need to be:)
Chapter Consistency: 10/10- All the chapters are around the same length and are good size to keep if you do chapters like that throughout the whole book. They are a bit short though, so I would recommend doing more chapters
Paragraph Skills: 6/10- Throughout the chapters, there was consistently long paragraphs that could be split into smaller ones to improve flow, and I feel like that would help to clean it up a bit and make it look more appealing.
Description Skills: 7/10- Overall you did use adjectives to describe simple things, like hair, but the story would have more feel if you would put things like emotions and describe more in depth.
Plot: 10/15- I feel like it went by too fast and I didn't really have time to get to know the setting and the characters too well. I feel like you should put more backstory in about the dad and mom as well as her school life and more so describing the character before jumping right to a climax point, as the decision is described in the summary, so I feel like it should be a bit slower paced, but not too much.
Reviewers Score: 8/10- there's definitely room for improvement but I'm not against the story either. It has a lot of potential and I really look forward to see what you do with it!
Overall Score: 9/15- This is just as if I were to read it and give a score without all the other fancy stuff, again, room for improvement but you're an excellent writer:)
TOTAL: 75/100
This was such a fun review, and just to let you know, everything I've said is hopefully in your best interest and I am not in any way trying to bash your book, I really hope this helps and I thank you for choosing us for a review:)
