The BadBoy screams trouble!

⊲|Chapter:33 'SOMETHING ELSE BUT HATRED.'|⊳

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|🌀| CHAPTER:33|🌀|

"Sophia."

"Is she awake?"

"Are you okay, Sophie?"

I felt someone grabbing my hand in theirs and by the warmth of it I was sure it was Rebecca. "Sophie, sweetheart?" Her voice confirmed my suspicion. "Call the doctor! Fast." She yelled while her other hand patted my cheek. I could understand nothing, every word she said just hit me like a hammer.

"Sophie! Are you okay? Doctor is just coming." Though her words were just a whisper but each of them felt like rocks raining on my head. A hiss escaped my mouth at the pain before I realized what she had just said. Doctor?! Why?

It struck me like a lightning. My breathing became fast when I registered the fact that I had actually planned to kill myself. And I had failed. I didn't had it in me to open my eyes because I could no longer face the people around me. All I wanted was to return to the unconsciousness that I was drowned in before my brain started to function again. All I hoped was to somehow return back to that deadness and so I restricted myself from opening my eyes.

I didn't want to believe that I had, yet again, failed terribly in killing myself. It pained me to the limits where pain becomes indescribable. It wasn't any bruises on my body, it were on my heart. Many. Internal pain that nobody but I know. Rebecca's hand was tightly holding mine as I felt the Doctor checking up on me.

I don't want to be checked up! Why can't I die?! What is there for me to live? What do you have for me Jesus? Why should I live when you haven't left any reasons to live?

Fourth time. I had failed to kill myself the fourth time. I no more wished to live but there I was, all healthy again, spreading my unluckiness in this world. I just wished for a miracle to happen, and leave me dead. I just prayed to the one above me, not to make me completely healthy. To take my life. To call my soul. And to end this painful torment that life throws over me every other day.

"Looks like she wants to rest some more." I heard a chuckle and by the maturity of it, I knew this was the Doctor. "Otherwise everything's fine. Just as she wakes up, give her something to eat. Her glucose level is going down." He addressed to his worker who replied in a small, 'yes sir'.

To say I wasn't hungry would be a complete lie because all I wanted to do was devour some tasty food that I doubted I'll get a chance to do. But I couldn't open my eyes. I couldn't face Rebecca and whoever else was present there in the room.

I could clearly hear a guy's voice but it was difficult to pinpoint who that was as it was just a whisper. I knew I wasn't going to die anymore, I knew I had failed again and I also knew that this time I didn't had it in me to hear those hurtful words Rebecca had to say to me. Because it was me who broke her promise. I thought I'd finally die and I shouldn't have to face this situation. But when has anything I had planned worked?

Sleep. Yes, that was the most suitable thing to do, to hide myself from all those who were sitting there in the hospital room. I wondered who else might have been there to see me because I knew clearly that nobody cares. But there was someone except for Rebecca that I knew by the whispers I heard.