Bloodstream (#2 Blood Series)

Chapter 14

I tell Nathan it all, without mentioning any names of course. Any time I try to slip out Mirabelle's name it changes into 'they' or 'their'. It's frustrating as hell so I keep pacing back and forth in front of him as I speak to keep my emotions in check. Nathan sits there on the bed and watches me in silence. He never interrupts and just lets me get it all out. I avoid looking at him because I can't bare to see the pain, the anger and the sadness on his face.

Once I'm through I just shut my mouth but won't stop walking. I know something bad is going to happen. The queen wanted my misery for all eternity and she always gets what she wants. Always.

"Haley, stop walking", Nathan asks with determination in his voice.

I shake my head, not stopping for a second. "No."

"Please?"

If anything I move faster now. He makes me nervous. This entire situation makes me nervous and I want to run away. Maybe if I'll concentrate on my movements I won't do anything stupid. "I can't. I need to keep moving", I say a little frantically even to my ears.

"Why?"

I sigh and answer because I know he'll keep asking until I do. "Because I'm scared that I'll hurt you if I stop."

"I trust you", Nathan says with absolute faith in me. God, I hate how much he loves me! It's like he's completely blind to all of my flaws. I'm no good, I'm cursed, I even tried to kill him and yet he's still here. He's still fighting for me.

"I don't!" I snap louder than I meant to.

"Haley, I can handle it. I can stop you if you lose control, I'm a demon after all", Nathan says calmly. It's weird. The more erratic I get the calmer he gets. It's like we balance each other out.

"No, you can't. It's called a curse for a reason. Any moment now they'll destroy everything. This is what they do: they give me what I want and then they rip it all away. They'll dangle you in front of me and then they'll take you away again, they always do. They create something perfect and then they just bring it all crumbling down like a house of cards. They thought it was funny when I cried", I whisper. I didn't mean to say that but I did and there is no taking it back anymore, even if I want to.

Nathan's green eyes are haunted. "I'm so sorry this happened to you, Haley", he says barely audibly.

I try to soften the blow. I shouldn't have told him that much. This is why I don't want to talk about what happened to me in the Abyss. I don't want upset anyone or make them feel guilty or, worst of all, sorry for me. "It's not your fault."

"Yes, it is. I should have let you live your life and not interfere."

His words make my stomach drop. "Don't ever say that again. I loved you. Don't take that away from me", I beg. Thinking about him was what got me through the nights. Nights were the worst. I had nothing to do, nothing to distract myself with. During the days I was always either with Oliver training until my body bled or with the queen until my mind nearly broke. But at night I had nothing so I clung onto the one person I loved most in the world.