Shattered || Narry

{31}

THIS IS A BIT OF A DISCLAIMER. THIS CHAPTER IS A BIT SAD AND POSSIBLY DEPRESSING. SO IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT OR IF YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE AT ALL AT ANY TIME WHILE READING, GO AHEAD AND SKIP TO A PART YOU FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE TO READ. I WOULDN'T BE OFFENDED AT ALL.

LOVE YOU, MY PENGUINS

(The audio to "Supermarket Flower" is above. It kind of fits with this chapter.)

Harry

Ever since Niall had told me that he hated me and left me three months ago, the cracks came back and they're worse than before. They covered my whole face and the right side of my neck. And this time, it actually hurt. It hurt to talk. It hurt to eat.

I couldn't bear to look at myself anymore so I got rid of every mirror in the house. I changed out the fridge so that it wouldn't have a reflective surface to show me how hideous I looked now. Any reflective surface in the house, I had changed out.

I hardly ever had the curtains on the windows open anymore for the sole fact that I could see my hideous reflection in the glass and because my life was complete darkness even with the sun shining in and blinding me. Niall was the light of my life and without him? What's the point of living?

Liam thinks I'm asleep and that's okay. I heard him leave the house so it'll give me time to do what I need to do. It's not like anyone would actually miss me if I were to end it all, right? Liam would go back to his old job and Niall? Well, I don't know what he'd be doing but he's obviously better off without me.

I pushed myself out of bed and slowly walked out of my room. The house was silent except for the faint noise of the tele coming from Liam's room. I sighed; I've told him numerous times not to leave that damn thing on when he's not in the room.

I began walking down the hall until I came upon a set of stairs that led up to the attic. I headed up the stairs and pushed the door open. Immediately, the dust and musty smell attached me. I hadn't been up here in years. All that was up here were my parents and my sister's belongings. I couldn't get rid of them no matter how many people told me it would help me move on. I couldn't just move on from losing my family. No one can. They get a painful reminder every damn year when the day the horrific accident happened comes by. Niall was the only thing that could make it less painful...

I need to stop thinking about him. He's never coming back...

I closed the attic door behind me then opened the window that faced the backyard. I looked out and down to see that it was a pretty long drop to the bottom. I gulped; knowing that if I actually went through with this, either it's going to hurt like hell and I'll be stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of my life or I'll die on impact.

Taking a step back from the window, I turned around and looked at the many boxes that I had up here. I opened the one labeled "Dad's Clothes" and pulled out my dad's favorite jacket. It didn't surprise me that it still smelled like him, but it wasn't as strong anymore. I slowly put it on and hugged myself; imagining that I was him again. I then opened the box labeled "Mum's Things". It included her jewelry, her favorite books, photo albums and her favorite blanket that I had made her for Christmas when I was probably 8. I took it out and it too still smelled like her. I held the blanket close to me and imagined cuddling up with her during late cold nights.