Deep In Love

It's been two weeks since what happened.I haven't really been out of my room,not ready to face anyone.The only time I do come out is if I'm left alone in the house which rarely happens or if it's really late at night and everyone has already went to bed.Over this time Jake has brought me food,he's also been hanging out with.Sometimes we watch movies or sometimes he lets me sit there and try to explain to him how I'm feeling.When ever we talk a new weight is lifted off my chest allowing me to breathed more.It was refreshing,yet scary because I didn't want to lose the bitter feeling of guilt.I didn't want to lose it.I couldn't because that was the only thing that let me hold on to what I've done.

It is now a day before my birthday and the temptation to leave my room is stronger than ever,but I do not give in.I sit by the wall on the left side of my bed.My back leans against the wall as my knees are pulled up to my face.Tomorrow is my birthday and I will be 18.Usually around my birthday is the most happiest time,but now considering what happened it brings pain and sadness.My mind drifts off to my last year birthday.

Flashback

We ran through the snow.It was freezing and my boots left prints in the fresh white snow.His hand held mine,as he was pulling me.Today is my 17th birthday.Trevor told me this morning that he had a surprised waiting for me.So he took me away from Haley and the rest of my friends and pulled me away.It was seriously killing me since we've been running through the cold for ten minutes and I hate surprises.I groaned and as Trevor turned to look at me."Come on,"He said."We're almost there you big baby."

I lightly shove his shoulder as he called me a baby.He responded by laughing at me.He started to run faster since I was complaining so much,and I could barely keep up with him.I started gasping for air and when he heard me he slowed down.I was thankful for that and after a few minutes my breathing returned to normal.I wanted to take a break,but he kept walking.He kept saying that we were going to miss it.Miss what?I have no idea.A cold chill rushed over me and I shuddered.Trevor noticed and let go of my hand.He then wrapped his arm around my shoulder and kept walking.

I was a little bit warmer,but not by much.Still I stopped complaining.I felt like I was going to die if I kept walking,but then he stopped."There,"He said.In front of us was a field blanket in white.It was the first all white place with no grass peeking out that I've seen all Summer.Yes it was snowing in Summer.Only because we were in the one place where in the Summer it was cold instead of hot.It was amazing.In the middle of the field was a bench.It was old,but still looked warm and comfortable.He took my hand again, making me lose some warmth,and started to walk towards the bench.When we reached it he sat down and I followed.It didn't really matter why there was a bench in the middle of the field it was just that he thought of such a beautiful thing.

This held a lot of meaning.It showed me how much he cared about me.It showed that he really cared about me and he really was the best friend ever.He placed his hand on the bench next to mine and with the other hand scratched the back of his neck nervous."So do you like it,"He asked.He sounded as if he was nervous.How couldn't I like it.A bright smile broke out on my face.I turned towards him in a swift moment and wrapped my arms around him.He wrapped his arms around me too and before I knew it we were in a loving embrace.

I pulled back and looked into his gleaming eyes.I could feel tears swell in my eyes from all the joy that this guy is bringing me right now.My vision blurred and before I knew it tears spilled out."Are you serious,"I said chuckling a little bit.I stood up and motioned to the whole field."Look at this its,amazing.I love it Trevor.I love it some freaking much.The best part is that you were really thinking about me.Thank you."He smiled and I sat back down.

"I'm glad you like it Jen,it's not like everyday you turn 17,"He chuckled.I noticed a purple backpack sitting by his leg and I cocked and eyebrow.He turned to where I was looking and reached for the bag."And before I forget."He unzipped the backpack and pulled out a grey thermal.He then pulled out two mugs.He handed one to me and sat the other one by him.He opened the thermal and tipped it over my cup.A steaming hot cup of hot chocolate poured into my mug.I gasped with joy and he chuckled.I absolutely loved hot chocolate.He then did the same thing to his mug and put it away.