Predator

Chapter Nineteen

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Before October, if I knew I'd be going on a date with Finn Hudson, I probably would've freaked out and started planning our wedding. I was really that crazy about him. I don't know why I don't have those feelings anymore, maybe when they were pushed aside during 'Ballad' week they were pushed aside for good. Funny how my feelings for Will weren't deterred even after he raped me, but with Finn they're gone simply because I stopped pursuing them for awhile.

Though, it does give me a warm feeling to watch him struggle with spaghetti noodles across the table.

"So uh," he starts slowly, pasta halfway hanging out of his mouth, "what did Quinn think of this?"

I shrug. "She didn't seem to care very much. Although, a lot has been on her mind lately, I'm sure this is the least of her concerns."

Actually, when I asked her about it yesterday she seemed a little sad. I think it's because subconsciously, she thought Finn was always going to be hers, and now he's moved on. But I'm not going to mention this.

"Well yeah, but it's the same for you," he says. "You guys have like, the exact same problems. Except for her being kicked out."

"Mhm..." No. Our problems are actually very different, Finn.

He sets down his fork. "So, I haven't got to talk with you a lot since this all happened. In fact, I don't even know what happened. Are you okay? Is the father helping you out or anything?"

"I'm fine," I lie. "And the father is...compliant."

His voice lowers. "Everybody's saying it's Puck. That's not true, right?"

"No," I answer immediately. "God, no. Even Noah has more sense than to impregnate two girls within a matter of months."

"Yeah," he says. "But he was the last guy you dated."

"The father of my child and I were never dating."

There's a short pause in the conversation.

"How come you're keeping it such a big secret?" he questions. "Why does it matter if people know who your baby daddy is? It's not like you're-"

Then he stops mid-sentence and looks ashamed upon doing so. I know what he was going to say.

"Quinn," I finish quietly. "I'm not Quinn. That's true, but I still have my own reasons, Finn."

"I know," he admonishes. "Look, I'm sorry Rach, I don't mean to be all nosy. I shouldn't make you talk about stuff you're uncomfortable with."

I give him a grateful smile. "It's fine. I understand where you're coming from."

"Does she ever talk about me?" he then asks. "Quinn?"

I cock my head. "Not recently. But she felt so bad about lying to you, I just hope you know that."

"She, uh," he looks down, "she told me you were the one who talked her into telling me. I really appreciate that. I'm also sorry for cussing you and everybody else out that day, I kinda felt like an ass after it. So, that's the last time she talked about me?" he repeats.

"Well, on a large-scale at least. She mentions you now and again."

After a small silence, I come to terms with something.

"You still love her, don't you?" I state more so than ask.

He doesn't look up from his plate but nods. "Well...yeah."

I really feel bad for him. He's been put through hell with baby-gate and on top of it, he lost probably the only girl he's ever loved other than his mother. But it's good that he can at least come to terms with his feelings. Lord knows how long it took me to do that.