Straight Outta My Brain

tales of another broken soul

»How are you Tyler?«

I didn't answer. I knew that it wouldn't be a great idea to tell him the truth, but I didn't want to lie either.

The room was awful quiet. The steady tick-tock of the clock on the wall was the only sound you could hear and it echoed almost unbearably loudly through the office.

Dr. Jefferson sat there, infront of me, in his big red chair. It looked really expensive, just as almost everything here. He must earn a fortune through people like me.

broken people.

»Tyler, you have to feel something. If you speak with me, I can try to understand you.«

I am terrified.

I didn't speak it out loud. I thought it, and constantly tried to stare in different directions, except forward. I hated it to look other people in the eyes. Especially Dr. Jefferson. He had piercing blue eyes and I could swear, that he was able to read my thoughts if he just looked closely enough into mine.
* * *
I wish my parents wouldn't force me to come here. Yes I had problems, and yeah I didn't talk about them with my parents, but why do they think I would tell a complete stranger stranger about my feelings and thoughts?

Not that my parents weren't strangers to me though...

They don't know me. They may know my name or my face - I mean they gave me both - but they don't know my brain. And most importantly, my heart neither.

»We are worried about you, Tyler.«

»We just want the best for you.«

» We love you!«

Yeah mum... I love you too. That's the reason why I would never drag you to a therapist...

* * *

My eyes wandered over to the heavy, dark brown mahogany desk. It stood in the middle of the room, and placed on it was one of the newest Macs. Next to the computer was a jar full of candy. The treats that Dr. Jefferson gives to his patients, if they told him what he needed to know.
My favourites were the red lollipops that taste like a mixture of cherry and strawberries, and paint your lips ruby red if you eat them properly. Dr. Jefferson gave them to me almost every appointment. I think he hopes to build up a kind of connection between us. Like friends. I don't want to be friends with him. I don't think it's a great idea to have a connection or a relationship to a middle aged man at all.

Josh thinks the same.

After I looked out of the window, and observed two sparrows that were fighting about something that looked like a breadcrumb, Dr. Jefferson cleared his throat and I had to look at him.

»Did you do something with your parents? As I advised it last time?«

What a funny man...

»No.«

Dr. Jefferson frowned. »Why not?«

»I don't know what we should do.«

I was being honest. I couldn't think about anything that was worthy to try. I didn't want to spend time with my family and I had no idea what we could do without getting any of us upset.

»How about hiking?«

»Nope.«

There was no way that I was gonna leave the house to trot along a bumpy path in the middle of nowhere while being fed with disgusting sandwich creations from mum and have important father-son-conversations with my dad. My siblings would be annoyed too. Annoyed by mum,dad, the situation in general, themselves and of course, me.
Somebody would start a fight with one of the others what would become a true family-war, and at the end of the day all of us would be in a bad mood. My mum would probably cry because she wants us to be a perfect family, and I would seperate myself from everyone so I could meet up with Josh. He is the only one who really understands me. He would make me happy again with a tickle fight or some bad puns...

Sounds not that bad in the end if you ignore the fact that my parents are against Josh's and my friendship.