I Wonder How Much Could Happen In One Summer (A Big Time Rush Love Story)

She's So Close When I'm So Far Away

Hey guys x3

Sorry I haven't been updating at all. Just a lot of school, sports, friends, and famly stuff happening :P But I wish not to bore you with those annoying, needless details! xD

Uhm...oh! So Spring Break is next week sooo yes, there will be more updates 'cause literally everyone is fleeing this village those 9 days haha :3 so i'll be stuck in my room, writing like a mad-man x)

Anyways, I'll try my hardest to update Are You Really My Savior tomorrow/Thursday :D

Pic is of the guys just being themselves (it made me giggle :) <3) 'nd the song is Enchanted by Taylor Swift, but covered by Megan and Liz. They are BEYOND amazing. Seriously, especially their original songs, I promise! Check them out on youtube if ya can; you won't regret it :) 

Enjoy, :) <3 love you all!! :3

[[Victoria’s PoV]]

                Sitting alone, the lake is my only companion on this desolate, tear torn morning. My heartbeat won’t stop lurking painfully loud in my eardrums, sputtering with fear and confliction. How could a flawless morning break into a blow to the chest?

                I hate how I can feel desperation leak into my heavy veins, coating them with even more honey, just proving to me how heavy a hairline fracture feels to the tender inner heart. I can’t believe this…I can’t comprehend the way my heart is sizzling and fraying as if it’s on fire, hot embers and ash spilling all over the scorched sky.

                A shaky breath lifts onto my frozen lips, the numbness finally ebbing out of my brain. And once that ice is melted, I wish it would have just stayed, protecting my heart from feeling any more of this fatal heartbreak.

                But…wait?

                Why exactly am I feeling so…tormented because James, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan all like me…?

                Shouldn’t I be leaping for joy, feel my fragile lump of a heart flutter to life with these confident wings love has found in the ashes of the past? Shouldn’t I be ecstatic, crazily dazed knowing that the four guys I’m attracted to are attracted to me too? Shouldn’t this be one of the best moments in my pathetically boring life ever?

                So…why am I a second away from bawling my eyes dry?

                Oh yeah…that’s right.

                I’ve never felt this overwhelming feeling of love pour onto me before. I mean, my mom loves me and so does my brother, and as do my friends. But. This is a different kind of love I’ve never touched before. This is the love that rocks your heart to sleep, kisses that flutter your lips, secrets shared in midnight whispers, nervous hands holding, comforting hugs so close you can taste his scent, and hearts so intertwined they end up beating at exactly the same beat. This is special…Love is such a silly thing. It means you have to surrender your heart to another person with a completely different heart and hope that they hand you there’s as the protect yours. It’s so precious and meek…if you squeeze that timid heart in your hands too tight, it’ll burn into gray ruins…however, if you keep your special someone’s heart too far away to feel the warmth of your living heart, it’ll fall, cracking onto the cement ground, again in ruins. You have to find the balance between obsession and isolation.

                And who knows how many burns and scars you have to trudge through until you eventually find the perfect balance between the two?