If Only I Could Stay...

Chapter 13

"Elianna food's ready!"

I didn't want to get up. After a sleep that peaceful I didn't wanna doing anything but stay in bed the rest of the night but i knew if i didn't go downstairs my mom would be worrying that something happened at school and at this moment in time i honestly don't wanna remember what happened at school.

"Okay I'll be down just give me a few minutes." I yelled downstairs."

"Okay sweetie just make it fast,  you don't want your food to get cold."

my mom was too sweet, after everything we've been through with George, all the restless nights wondering if we were gonna see the sun come up the next morning, moving, changing our names, breaking friendships,relationships... and now i'm in tears. I always knew we had it hard but I never knew how bad its been until now. so after all, maybe I do like Parker,maybe even love him, but I can't, I only have about a couple of weeks till i'm gone anyways. no friends, foes or boyfriends in a couple week they'll never know  Elianna Reed ever existed, cause technically she never has or will.

"mom, when will this all be over? "I said to her as we sat down at the round glossy brown table with four chairs, one on each side."

"what do u mean Eli?" My mom said sounding concerned."

"All this hiding, pretending to be people we aren't, having no true home, friendships or relationships.

"Eli, i know its really hard for you but this is our life for now and u know that sweetie,how do u think i feel?without you, I wouldn't be running to begin with!

"without you I wouldn't be running to begin with!"  The words rang through my head as my whole body becoming ultimately still. The part that hurt wasn't what she said, but the fact that she was right. I did this all this and the only reason she's going through it is because I have the same blood coursing through mine and her veins. If I would've just thought about what I was doing before doing it we wouldn't be in this situation. Just a split second and we would still be in our house down in Arkansas surrounded by the smell of pine trees, the endless forests and the sky high mountains yearning for people to hike up them and peer over the world from above. This was my fault all of it and there wasn't a damn thing I could do to make it right. My eyes started to burn as I tried to hold my tears from escaping my waterline and falling down my freckled cheeks but I couldn't so I let it all out.

"Elianna i didn't-"

"No mom its okay. Your right everything is my fault. I'm the reason where in the position where in now and I can't tell you how sorry I am for that but I didn't know one tragic mistake would put us in the whole where in now. "I said with tears flooding from my eyes."

I turned around, walked a couple of feet before turning around to tell her one more thing.

"Can you at least not forget, I lost someone that same night too."

after everything I had been through, everything that's happened to me nothing has hurt more than the words that she had said to me. She knew I already felt bad for existing, but I never knew she felt the same way, maybe I shouldn't be here, i'm just a mistake to not only to myself and Geroge, but to the one person I was living for just to find out she doesn't want me to live to begin with. All the times I had been kicked,thrown into fires,molested,stabbed nothing had ever hurt as bad as my own mother, my saver, to tell me my life was a burden to hers. So would it truly be so bad for it to end?

 And with that I ran up the stairs into my room and bawled my eyes out until I finally reached sleep.

Parkers POV

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"Dad im going out."

"Where son."

"Somewhere without you"

"Uh..are u taking ur sister."

"No, and dont touch her, i swear if u hurt her in any way i will-"

"Parker stop i would never-"

"Dont say it, you promised mom the same thing, what a conincidance ur with Amber.

"Parker just leave!"

"I was going anyways!"