Antoinette
"'Harry potter and the sorcerers stone.' Is that a good book?" i looked up from the book to him, he was smiling softly at me.
"hmm, to me harry potter was quite literally the best series i've ever read, but maybe it just isn't your cup of tea. i think you should sit and read a chapter or two before you get it, don't you think?" he guided me towards the table and chairs as he spoke with his hand on my back.
"hm yeah. but will you stay with me as i read?" i looked over to him as i sat down.
"of course, I'm not going anywhere without you." he sat across from me with book in hand and smiled brightly at me. I returned the smile softly and looked at the book in his hand, 'The Great Gatsby' it read.
"haven't you already read that book about 5 times?"
"i believe that a good book can never be read too many times, and it can never become tiresome or boring to read. every time you re-read a book you may always notice something you never noticed before. i've read the harry potter series about 10 times and there's never a line that doesn't keep me on the edge of my seat even if i already know the ending. reading a book for the first time is always the best though don't you think? whenever i read a good book for the first time i don't want it to end, i want it to go on forever and ever and ever, an eternity, and i would always be at my seat reading it." his eyes seemed to become more entranced in his words as he spoke, as they always do when he talks like this, i love watching his features and listening to every word he says when this happens. every time he speaks its like listening to the greatest book ever being read, and it never ends, it is truly a book that goes on forever and ever, an eternity, one that I'll always be at my seat to read. your words are so pretty, i wish that you'll never stop speaking.
"mhm." i replied as i stared at him like a highschool girl in love, which is exactly what I was, how funny.
he chuckled. "read your book now okay? I'm sure you'll love it." i nodded and straight away went to my reading. alright, anything for you darling. I smiled to myself as I read the first page
—
"hmmm namjoon– i'm sleepy." he laughed.
"when we get you home then you can sleep soundly in your bed okay?" he put his arm around me and put my head on his shoulder.
we walked in silence for most of the way until i spoke again. "namjoon?"
"hm?" it started to lightly snow.
"what are emotions really? why do we feel love, hate, sadness, remorse, the whole bit. why?"
"ah, an emotion is a complex psychological state that involves three distinct components: a subjective experience, a physiological response, and a behavioral or expressive, response, as said by hockenbury. we feel emotions because of well, because it's how we were made, we were made with emotions, they were made complex and made one of the most important things in life because they make up most of all of our decisions, they make up who we are." i nodded as a response and watched the snowflakes falling from the clouds high above to the ground down below. "you're so full of questions always, it's one of the things i love about you. even if I don't have an answer, we can wonder together. Its nice, hm?" I lifted my head up and looked at with with a half-smile.
"my mind is always so full of questions and you always seem to have the answers. in that sense, we go together so well don't we? to know someone such as you in a world such as this, its a once in a lifetime chance is it not? hmm, perhaps its fate?" he looked up to sky and shuddered.
"perhaps it is, who's to say it isn't?"
"exactly." i could feel him looking over at me as i watched the snow still falling ever so lightly to the ground.
he began to hum a pretty melody that i knew all too well as we approached our destination.
over the rainbow we smiled knowingly to each other as we became closer and closer to the house. I stopped and he stopped with me. I didn't want to cross the road and be there yet. i closed my eyes and i could feel him staring at me. I inhaled in the wintery scent and exhaled, I listened closely to the silent world, I concentrated closely to the snow falling onto my cheeks as I turned my head towards the sky. I put my free hand up towards the sky and felt the snow flakes falling onto my hand and suddenly dissolving. all at once I became so aware of everything and it felt so strange. I felt more aware of the warmth of namjoons hand around mine, of his whole presence, of the sound of the wind that passed us by so roughly every few moments, of everything. and then all at once i opened my eyes, dropped my hand, and i was back. suddenly i was soaring up above the clouds and then suddenly i was right back on the ground on my own two feet. the experience was heavenly, truly. i had a strong urge to tell namjoon all about the heavenly experience but by just seeing his soft smile and looking into his eyes that watched over me the whole time, i knew he already knows.
did you have fun he asked me as we crossed the street.
yes, and next time i want you to come with me.
we were in front of the house now. we simply looked at each other for not what felt like an eternity but truly only a few moments. he squeezed my hand and slowly let go. we smiled a goodbye to each other and slowly parted ways, knowing that this wasn't a goodbye forever parting and soon we would see each other again. at the end of the day we felt content and its comforting.
of course, I'll go anywhere in every dimension with you, i could even live through a thousand winters as long as it's with you my darling love.
