It had been about a week since Daniel and Tom had seen or spoken to one another. Tom clicked through numerous website articles claiming Daniel had been spotted at a few local places with his friends. The thought of him out and socializing crippled him to his core. Here Tom had been sitting at home, waiting for his husband to come back. One of Toms most fears was seeing Daniel fall back into one his his deepest addictions; alcoholism. Sleeplessly tossing and turning Tom couldn't wonder anymore what Dan was doing, so he searched the internet for his latest update and went en route to find his husband at three in the morning. He slowly pulled into a downtown hotel notorious for its parties and troubled adults. His stomach sunk and his anger surfaced- not wanting to be noticed he pulled his hood over his head and headed inside. It was quite obvious what floor the party was as people were coming and going from the elevators. As he walked over passed out girls on the floor and threw rowdy crowds he found himself just outside a open pent house. It was crazy to imagine that just a week ago they were getting married and now Tom was out hunting his estranged husband in the middle of the night, something he hadn't done since they first got together.
Tom found himself outside a bedroom door, he couldn't find himself strong enough to push the door open. Just as he was about to, the door flung open and there Daniel stood shirtless in front of him, smoking and beyond intoxicated.
"Hey babe..." Daniel slurred, he wasn't expecting to see Tom here.
"Have you lost your fucking mind?" Tom shoved passed him as he closed the door, the last thing he needed was for anyone to be listening in on there argument.
"I'm sorry..." Daniel closed his eyes as he sat down on the bed, his face buried into his hands.. "I don't know why I did this.. I can't control it."
"But you have..." Tom tried to grab one of his hands. "It's obvious anger is a trigger for you and I apologize for arguing about something so silly with you."
"Your going to hate me.."'Daniel pulled his hand back and got to his feet, he couldn't look Tom in the eyes.
Tom could sense something off with his husband, he could sense a secret hiding beneath the surface. He started to piece the puzzle together. Something he wouldn't have done minute earlier. Red heels by the bed next to a lacy bra. In the faint distance he could here running water coming from the washroom.
"I think you should go." Daniels voice was quiet, he felt ashamed.
"You think I should go?" Toms sense of rage was surfacing again. "I meant my vows. Every word of them."
"I meant them too." Daniels head was spinning, he wanted to drop to his knees and beg forgiveness but knew it wouldn't help.
He had hurt the one he loved. He had taken the only good thing out of his life and shattered it to a million pieces. Begging for forgiveness wouldn't help anyone but himself and certainly not Tom. The two of them stood mere inches from one another, anger, sorrow and mistakes filling the gaps of their shattered relationship.
Tom had seen enough, he had no desire to save this helpless man. Not now. His drive back home filled with hysterical screaming and crying. He didn't know what hurt more- Daniels infidelity or leaving him in a toxic environment that caused the infidelity from happening.
