Isolation. Phan

Chapter 8

hEY HEY HEY I'm very happy for some reason

"I am so glad that we get to go home tomorrow." Phil sighed as he prepared to go on stage for the last time in a while. "I miss England and its dreary weather."

"England doesn't have a Noah in it." Noah muttered with a dry chuckle.

"Oh, yeah but there's Skype and you could always visit."

"True..."

"I will miss you though... a lot." Phil turned, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's neck. He looked directly into Noah's beautiful eyes and pulled him into a kiss.

"I'll miss you too." Noah mumbled.

-

"Flights for London, England, boarding now..." A speaker boomed and Dan immediately stood up, quite excited to go home and finally get Phil to himself again. Phil and Noah were sharing sad looks and both had tears in their eyes. They were saying their solemn goodbyes and Dan just wanted to get on the plane.

"I really have to go now." Phil mumbled, giving Noah one last kiss on the cheek.

"Okay.. I'll fly to England as soon as I get the money, alright? I'll miss you so much." Noah replied, bringing his hand through Phil's raven fringe.

With one final smile, Phil walked out of the building with Dan and they boarded the aeroplane.

-

"Dan?" Phil whispered, poking his friend on the shoulder. Dan had headphones on, blasting Muse and, as Phil leaned slightly closer, he identified it to be Muse's Sunburn. Phil managed a tiny smile as he remembered that it had always been Dan's favourite (it's probably my favourite too, if you cared >.<), ever since 2009 when he would listen to it whilst they Skyped. Dan was fast asleep, his eyes shut and his mouth open ever so slightly. Tiny snores escaped his mouth and it was adorable. Absolutely adorable.

Phil couldn't help but notice that Dan's eyes were rimmed red and there were dark lines underneath them, implying that he hadn't been sleeping properly. Phil really didn't want to wake the man as he obviously needed as much sleep as he could get but he had to. The plane was due to land in around twenty minutes and he didn't want his friend to be drowsy when they got out. "Dan?" Phil repeated, poking his shoulder a little harder. Dan stirred a little, groaning slightly. "Daniel?" Phil dragged out the 'a' with a slight laugh as his friend's eyes shot open.

Dan pulled off his headphones and mumbled a quick apology, turning off his music. "When was the last time you got a full night's sleep?" Phil said in a soft, caring voice.

"I-I don't know." Dan mumbled, not looking his friend in the eye. Dan and Phil weren't as close as they were before Noah and anyone who knew the two would notice straight away. They never joked or laughed with each other and nothing was really the same.

"Well, we'll get back to our amazing beds at home soon. Just a couple more hours."

"Just a couple more hours." Dan repeated in a whisper. He was trying to convince himself that he was going to go home and everything would go back to normal.

-

"We're home!" Phil practically yelled as he pulled the front door shut. Dan couldn't hide the smile on his face as he walked into his familiar surroundings. "I need to go to bed: I don't know about you but I am exhausted."

"Me too." Dan mumbled, following Phil until they parted into their separate bedrooms.

Dan knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep as soon as his head hit his cold pillow. He wanted to be somewhere warm, somewhere when someone else's arms would wrap around his fragile body and keep him safe but he had no one. He couldn't even go to Phil anymore. A tear began to fall down his pale cheek and he didn't bother to wipe it away. No one could see him; no one would even notice his cries for help.

He was restless all night. He must have fallen asleep once, possibly twice, just to wake up half an hour later to a silent apartment. Tears had fallen so many times that his eyes were completely dry and his face was drained of all life and colour. When the room lit up with morning light, Dan decided to get up, despite it only being around five in the morning.

-

"Hello DanandPhilGames'.. rockets." Phil laughed, waving at the camera in front of him and his best friends.

"Rockets..?" Dan muttered, trying his best to act happy for the fans. "Can't you come up with anything better?"

"Nope! They're our special rocket children!"

"Yay we're dads."

"Uh.. Anyway! Today we are going to play Rocket League, as suggested by many of you, our fans!" (I REALLY WANT THEM TO PLAY ROCKET LEAGUE IT'S MY FAVOURITE GAME EVERRRR)

"It's literally the best game ever."

-

"No!" Dan screamed as Phil's car drove straight into his and into the ball, causing it to roll straight into Dan's goal. "Wow, I must be pretty crap if I lost to you." Phil was giggling beside him and Dan was quick to frown. He really hated it when Phil acted all cute and lovely because it reminded him of why he had fallen in love with the man back in 2009 and it made him remember that he wasn't his boyfriend. He was Noah's. Not his.

"I'm on the verge of beating you, Danny!" Phil laughed, bringing out the Dan vs Phil board and singing the iconic song.

"It will literally be so shameful if I lose to you."

"Oh, yeah? I am the best gamer there is!"

"If you say so..." Dan muttered, not wanting to argue. It would probably just bore everyone watching.

Phil pinned the picture of the Rocket League logo onto his side of the board and they began to say their goodbyes.

-

Is Dan okay? He looks exhausted... was it the tour?

Something feels odd, is it just me who thinks so?? They seem a little off with each other.

Dan really didn't seem himself.

Dan was frowning as he scrolled through all the comments, a lot of them revolving around him and how the fans were worried about his wellbeing. He decided to Tweet so that everyone would stop worrying.

Danisnotonfire: I'm okay for everyone wondering. Just had a particularly bad existential crisis but everything is alright! ^-^

Existential crisis. Far from the truth.