Agad dumako ang tingin ko sa pulso kong namumula at nababakasan pa ng pagkatali pagkagising. When realization hit me, agad akong napahagulgol at niyakap ng mahigpit ang tuhod ko.
It was real. Everything is real.
And my sobbed got even louder when I saw the stain in my bed.
Wala na.
I'm no longer a virgin anymore. Nakuha na ng sinumang lalaking gumawa sa akin nitoh. I moved away from the blood at sumiksik sa headboard. I cried and clutched the sheet na tanging tumatakip sa kahubdan ko.
I closed my eyes. Shut them tight but open it afterwards. I could hear the sound of the scissors, the moans, my pleads, and the sound coming from him. I covered my ears with the both of my hands.
I don't want to hear it. I can't bear to imagine all the things he did to me. He even physically hurt me and told me how I deserve every pain. I shook my head at mas diniinan pa ang takip sa tainga.
"Wala akong kasalanan." Humagulgol ako.
"Wala akong kasalanan. Please, stop it. Please."
YUMUKO AKO at umiwas sa mga kaklase ko. Wala naman akong mga kaibigan dito. They wouldn't even come near me sa kadahilanang hindi ko alam but after what happened to me ay napagalaman kong ang lalaking gumahasa sa akin ay ang siya rin may kakagawan kung bakit walang kumakaibigan sa akin.
Parang may bumara sa lalamunan ko ng maalala ang pangyayaring yun. Tulala akong tumitig sa armchair ko at napakagat labi upang pigilan ang pag-iyak.
I shook my head and stared at the professor na kakapasok lang. I immediately finished the exam he gave and left the room. I don't want to stay in that four cornered room. I felt suffocated. I gripped my arms tightly. At naglakad lakad lang.
I bit my lip and tried to ignore the idea na baka nasa paligid lang ang lalaking yun at nagmamasid masid. I'm scared. And I don't like it.
Pinunasan ko ang luhang tumulo at pinatatag ang sarili. If only I could turn back time. Hindi na sana ako pumunta sa bar at nagliwaliw. Ang lalaking akala ko'y tumulong sa akin mula sa kapahamakan ay ang siya rin palang hihila sa akin patungo don.
BINABASA MO ANG
Obsession 1: Desperate Move
General FictionAlexandria Sophie Mendoza is one sweet girl, but sadly no one wants to befriend her for a reason she doesn't know. They were avoiding her like plague. No friends to talk to, her parents far away from her, and no lover to keep her company. In short h...
