VICIOUS (II) : peter pan ouat

How to Burn

Chapter 6

    "You know Brae misses you."

    I wince at my sister's name. The words are spoken before the flaps of the tent even have a chance to fall into place, and the thought is carried far away into the woods.

    "There's not much I can do about that." I admit, pursing my lips together in a line.

    Alison doesn't look well. Beneath her bloodshot eyes are deep purple bags. There are red lines running down her arms, and I watch as she scratches her skin raw once more. It was her nervous tick, and it has always been. Not much has changed in the past months I guess. Expect the way exhaustion wears her body, like a wet blanket, clinging to her skin. Suffocating her.

    The sleeves of her white sweater are dirty, either from the dirt on the ground or the tears under her eyes. Her sweater is more of a dress than a sweater, and it is incredibly baggy. She bites her chapped lips, glancing from me to the ground, back to me. As if she can't decide whether she's going to dare to stare at the dead.

    The same thing happened to me last time I saw Jared. In my defense though, I didn't have an emotional breakdown because of it. That's all on her.

    "You can't tell me you don't care." She tells me. "Not about Brae."

    Warm lighting fills the tent. It's only a glow from another oil candle, but it seems orange. It makes her bleach blonde hair resemble strawberry blonde, and makes the freckles on her face seem even deeper in colour.

    "I said what I said." I spit. "Nothing more and nothing less."

    "You could've come told me you were running away." She said.

    I scoff, diverting my eyes to the rough tapestry draped over our heads. As if this was a choice. As if I could've warned her.

    "A letter or a phone call or anything-"

    "I didn't choose to leave." I tell her.

    Her chest tightens, and her voice turns to a whisper. "Are we being held hostage?"

    I laugh aloud. "No."

    "Then why can't you leave-"

    "I don't want to leave." I tell her. "And even if I wanted to I wouldn't. I couldn't. You don't get to choose where life brings you, but I'm choosing to stay here."

    She can't bring herself to look at me. Her eyes choose to find the flame, the bedspread, the dirt floor, and her dirty nails rather than anywhere else at me.

    "You know," I tell her, "I brought you here because I wanted to see you again."

    I moved down next to her, sitting on the bed. "How have you been?"

    She flinches away from me, but can't bring herself to move. She can't seem to bring herself to do anything. She's more like a sheep than like a girl.

    "I thought you were dead, Charlotte." A sob escapes her mouth. "It's been months. You can't just disappear into thin air, running away with Johnny..."

    Her eyes widen at the thought of the boy.  "Johnny. Where is he?"

    It's my turn to flinch away from her, standing up. Johnny is the last person I want Alison's eyes to land on. She's living a nightmare. I don't want to ruin our other best friend for her, but I also don't want to keep him safe in her eyes.

    Johnny doesn't deserve that, and I don't care what Alison deserves. I didn't bring her here to have a vacation. I brought her here to use as a pawn, nothing more and nothing less. Treating her like a friend is going to get me anywhere.