catching feelings - destiel

one

Dean fell in his bed, his muscles finally starting to relax. It felt like floating, everything seemed so nice for a while. He was about to turn around to his stomach when he realized he was alone. The bed next to him was empty. He was so silent coming into his dorm and there he was, alone?

Where's Cas?

Dean groaned, not fully awake to understand everything, but even though he was slacker than a potato sack, he stood up, calling Cas's name. Loudly, with groans of course. Dean barely knew the boy, he was always digging his nose in his books and his mouth sucking up all the chemicals his bong was giving him. Dean didn't mind, as long as it didn't smell. He realized how Cas sometimes was a mess, they used to talk a lot before. That was until school schedule was crashing with their classes. Dean lied if he said he didn't miss those special moments he and Cas had.

Cas was a genius, and Dean remembered being taught that you can be good at subject and numbers, but not at acknowledge of empathy and pain. One could simply not be great at both. Never. It was impossible to be so perfect, but as Cas opened his mouth one night, and poured out everything he had on his mind, Dean was speechless. For once, Dean was speechless.

That was also why Dean was feeling something bad in the pit of his stomach. Cas... Cas was a wreck at times. Once, Dean came into his dorm to find Cas asleep and clearly freezing, Dean packed him around with a blanket. He afterwards realized that friends don't actually tend to to that. Especially boys. But he didn't mind, it felt too natural to help Cas out.

Stopping dead in his track, Dean's mouth fell a bit open, eyes scanning what he couldn't believe. He was staring at the horizontal lines covering up Cas's right arm, and Dean felt empty. They looked old, but still, it stung Dean to know. He hugged him all night, he couldn't leave, he wouldn't. When Dean woke up the next morning, he realized he had fallen asleep with Cas in his arms. He felt weird, but it was something good about it too. He left before he was late for class. Dean never mentioned it, but he wanted to. He wanted to see what was killing Cas.

He fumbled with the screen of his phone, searching down the contacts of Cas's name. All roommates had their number, it was easy to communicate when their classes collided. It also made Dean feel warm to know that he had Cas on his phone. Like a memory.