The Life of Jade Popper

x.

@gravytrain: @Harry_Styles , is it true?.. XxJadexX

-

-

-

                                                                   My thoughts were everywhere, my stomach was churning, I felt sick. Maybe I should go vomit. But my feet were glued to that spot. I couldn't breathe, all I knew is that I could cry. "Are you serious?" I whispered, tears pricking at my eyes. The headline broke my heart, leaving me in a tattered mess. "Jade, calm down, love," mum cooed, wrapping my shaking body in her arms. How could he not tell me this? How could I let this happen? A girl killed herself because of me! Everything revolved around me lately, but this was the worse. Harry was talking about it on twitter when I exited the shower but I didn't pay much attention to it. "Jade Popper, it's your fault," the mum in the video spoke, the mum of the girl that had died. My heart clenched, my knees buckled, I broke. I broke completely. I cried my eyes out, not giving a damn about anything anymore. I wanted this to stop. And then my phone began ringing. "H-hello?" I spoke quietly, my voice trembling. "Jade, it isn't your fault," his calm, gravelly voice said, making me break down even worse. "Yes, it is!" I cried, laying flat on the ground, my body curled into a ball. "Jade, calm down." I choked back a sob, my head throbbing just like last night.

"Jade Popper, this situation is not your fault. It's mine. I was talking to her last night after you hung up on me and she got angry at me when I told her that I just wanted to talk to you and kiss you and hug you.. Then she told me that she loved me and I said I love you too, but she meant love love. I haven't even met her, and that's what I told her. Next thing I know, I get a notification that she's dead and it's all over the news. They're blaming you because of me, Jade... I promise it is not your fault, it could never be your fault.." I could hear sniffles coming from his side of the phone and faint breaths. "It's not your fault," he mumbled, his voice getting softer. I felt horrible then, "Harry, it's o-okay.. It's not your fault either, she just wanted you to know that she loved you... I understand it," I told him. 

I just wanted to touch his face and carress his curls. Maybe even kiss a little. But this is not when I want to do it. Right now I just want to grab him and hug the shit out of him. I gulped, holding my knees tighter. "Please don't worry about this, Jade. I don't want you hurting yourself," he spoke in a strained voice followed by a single sniffle. And then my eyes went wide. He did know what I meant, shit. I just sniffled, not een caring how pathetic I sounded. Besides, we're both crying. "Jade, darling," my mum said, her hands rubbing away at my trembling arm. "Mum, can I h-have some privacy?" I asked, the fit of sniffles coming back. Fresh tears were shed as she left me alone in the living room. I muted the TV, I couldn't listen to this anymore. There were videos of the problem, and they even sent screenshots of Harry's DM's to her! God, now I feel worse! I gulped once again, leaning my head back against the couch. The churning was back, I could honestly barf. I lean over the arm of the couch, my mouth gaping as I coughed for air. The suicide hit me hard, and that could easily be an understatement. I gagged, the images of my blood last night spilling into my mind. All I could see were the scars of last night in my periperal vision. I could have caused her to hurt herself! Oh my god! 

I hadn't even noticed I was still on the phone until I heard Harry's panicked voice. "Jade? Are you alright?" he asked, making me cry even harder. This is so stupid. It's all my fault. Fucking hell, Jade. You're so pathetic and you're a murderer. I gagged once again, the bile rising in my throat. But it wouldn't come out. It sat there and choked me. My throat was burning from the disgusting gel. "M-mum!" I screamed, gasping for air. I knew what was happening. I also knew I couldn't go through this alone. "Mum!" I screamed louder, my cried getting louder as well. My vision was a full blur and my head was throbbing. "Poopie?" mum spoke softly, rushing to my side. "This isn't your fault," she said. "You cannot take the blame for this," she cooed. I couldn't believe her. How could I? It was obviously my fault! Its like I'm leading Harry on to something cool and amazing, but I'm me. I'm a boring, weird, and awkward girl from South Shields. And don't even get me started on my accent. It sucks like hell. I wrapped my arms around her waist, burying my damp face in her hair. I loved my mums hugs, they were the absolutely best. And then I heard Harry's voice. "Who's that?" mum asked, her fingers drawing shapes in my back. 

"H-H-Harry," I stuttered, snifffling. I could feel her muscles tense slightly, which scared me half to death. "Harry? As in the boy that started all of this?" she asked, making me nod. "I-It's not h-his fault," I defended, my lips falling into a frown. Mum sighed, hugging me tighter. "Are you sure you want to go to London tomorrow?" she asked me, and I jerked back from her. "Of course! Why would you ask such a thing!?" I hurried out, an offended look plastered on my face. "I just don't want you to get hurt while you're alone..."

"She won't be alone," his husky voice spoke.

"Hello, Harry."

"Hello, Mrs. Popper."

"Take care of my baby, alright?"

"Yes, ma'am." 

I couldn't help but smile a bit. "Plus, mum, I'll have the girls. I'll be fine and I won't do anything you wouldn't want me to do," I assured her with a gentle kiss to the cheek. "Alright, but please be careful. And especially since it's almost noon, go fix a sandwich or something," she told me, kissing my forehead. I nodded and grabbed my phone, pressing it to my ear. "Thank you, Harry... If you hadn't of said something she most likely wouldn't have let me go." I partly couldn't believe that it was already twelve, but I could believe it as well. I did cry for a while, but I went down for breakfast. But I didn't check the time. God, I can be so stupid. "You're welcome, Jade. It was no problem. We still have that date, remember?" he asked, making me smile to myself. "Of course I remember. How could I not?" I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of milk from the fridge. I felt extremely weak all of a sudden and sat down. "Harry?" I asked, resting my elbows on the countertop. "Yes, m'love?" My heart fluttered at his words as I sipped at the milk. "Well, where are we going to go?"

"Surprise."

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Tada! Here's a sort of fluffy and dramatic chapter! P.S. if you can't read in Roman Numerals, this is chapter ten. Gosh, that's a lot of chapters to me. Sorry, I'm sort of weird. Aha, hope you guys enjoyed. I love you all! Bye! Xx