The Confined

12. Ego (Part 1)

2302. 04. 19

"Oh my darling
Oh my darling
Oh my darling Clementine
You are lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry Clementine,"

Even though Giddy's singing did not mean more than just a mere folk song from long ago, to me it sounded like my funeral song. I had been planning out how to save Violet's parents for three days and I was going to take action tomorrow. I hadn't spoken to anyone about it yet and I didn't plan to. I was going to leave a note for Finn saying that I had been accepted for great job interview that would take me to the RL for a couple of days. That would keep him from worrying. The whole plan needed to be kept perfectly secret for the sake of the people who I loved. What if I was captured on the way and my friends were taken to be questioned? They would be tortured until they would have to say that my plan was to break out criminals. Better not knowing than being tortured until they actually admitted it.

I had calculated all the routes thoroughly although there were still many holes in my plan. First, I didn't know if anyone would give me shelter, food, or supplies. Where was I going to get the things I needed? I had nothing. I was going empty-handed. Well... there was one way. A way that I didn't think I would ever try out.

I wasn't going entirely empty-handed. I was going with one weapon that I had made over the last few days. I made it with my pen that I'd stolen last time while I was doing my job. It still has all its features plus the words, "The Lord knows", that were carved into it are still there. Now, as a result of my hard work running around the junkyard looking for things that I could use, it has several more buttons. I actually built in a laser. An actual laser. I took it off a broken robot that was discarded there, after finding that the laser itself worked perfectly fine. I also changed the ball point into a knife just for emergencies. I also attached a flashlight to the back of it so I could see when stranded outside at night. So actually I have a laser, knife, and a flashlight.

Maybe I needed help. I knew who I had to go to, to get it.

I decided to get help from my parents.

✡

You may be surprised, but I do know who my parents are. It's just that I've never met them in person. They used to send me some mail when I was five, but from then they just let go of me. I still have the mail lain under my bed so I know the address they live at. Or lived at. They might have moved. I don't know. But I wasn't just going to sit here wondering if they still lived in the same house or not.

Oh, you must be surprised again. Yes. House. They are not people of the Confined. They are RLs. They were just too greedy and selfish to live with another person in their lives. They were only hungry for each other. So I was thrown away to an orphanage in the Confined and when I was four I was sent to the actual Confined because they thought I was ready to live by myself.

Now you must be like Oh, poor Ego. He was never loved in his life. So sad. Well, I don't want your compassion. I was loved plenty. Quite enough for me. When I was four, Finn's parents took me in and treated me like their own son. I was part of their family. That's why Finn was here and I was here too, and we became friends. That's why Finn takes care of me so much. He knows my story. He thinks I need to be protected because of the scars the past has left on me will reopen and tear me apart. However, I think the love I received was enough for me. I didn't lack love from anyone. I just received a little more pity.

My parents haven't cared for me one single moment of my life. Not when I was born, and they probably won't when I die either. They are two selfish people who know only themselves. They couldn't get enough of themselves. They didn't want me. Maybe I had brothers in the Confined that were thrown away like me.