Dream On - The Dreams of a Crazy Teenager

Moral of the Story, Kids: Don't Block the Water Slide

***Sorry it's been so long since I've uploaded!!  I'm writing this at 3am... so I hope it's not too terrible :)  Enjoy! 

It began… in an office building.I was in a room with two men.  Two big, burly men, at that.  Kind of creep, really.  We were having some sort of meeting about something completely unknown to me.  But there was a part of me that just screamed “DANGER”, and I decided to act on that part.  So I ran out of the door, flipped the light switch, and closed and locked it behind me.  Then, before they had the time to find the light switch and unlock the door, I ran for my life.

 I think I was investigating some sort of kidnapping case having to do with a little girl.  I ran up a long set of stairs, only to run back down again when I came to a door that said “Stop here; you’d better think before you go in.”  (Hey, you gotta heed signs like that!) Then I ran all the way down the stairs and came to an open lobby area where there were two open doors; one leading to a room full of adults, and the other leading to a room with a few of my friends.

I watched my friend’s dad walk out of the room of adults, and he caught my eye.  I figured he was probably the only adult there I could trust, so I walked up to him and said… I don’t remember what exactly, but it was probably something like, “Look, there are two scary men upstairs, and they’re probably super ticked at me for locking them in a dark room so uh… could you maybe help?” 

He said a few words that have slipped my memory, and then we both walked into the room full of my friends.  I sat down on the couch next to Mona, we all talked for a while, and then everything flashed.

“OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS.”

The fact that I just went from sitting quietly on a couch exchanging peaceful conversation… to hanging far above the ground from a set of monkey bars… is, needless to say, a bit unsettling.  I looked behind me to see KJ standing at the base of bars, ready to jump.

“Don’t do it!” I scream, “You’ll never make it…”

But she does make it.  In fact, she springs up into the air, doing several backflips on the way up, and grasps the monkey bars with ease.  I can do nothing but gape at her in awe and bewilderment. 

*FLASH*

“Oooooooh my goodness can you believe it we’re in a water park WE’RE IN A FREAKING WATER PARK!!!!  Oh ho ho ho this is gonna be a BLAAAAAST!!!”

The excited chattering of a 12 year old girl.  Oh mercy.  I close my eyes and wish she’d stop, and, to my amazement, I open my eyes to see she has turned into Mona.

All of a sudden, life just magically makes sense to me again. 

“So, you want me to go last?” I say, looking up at the metal monkey bars I had just flashed from. 

“Nah.  You aren’t experienced enough.  I’ll go last,” Mona says, and before I have the chance to defend myself against her insult, the scenery changes.

I’m lined up for a race; this much I somehow understand. 

“Yessss,” Mona says, “We get the soft ones.”

I don’t understand what she means until I look back up the monkey bars, which have magically changed from metal to a soft, cloud-like plush.  My kind of monkey bars, indeed.

Suddenly it’s my turn to run this race; which is when I realize that I have absolutely no idea where to go.  So I just start running.

“What in the world?” I hear someone yell.

“Dude!  You’re going the wrong way!” a man with a surfer accent shouts at me.

Naturally, I turned and ran the other way.  Something compelled me to go to this gigantic ladder.  I looked up and saw that it led to a water slide.  All I could think was, “Ooo, fun!” as I positioned myself to begin climbing.  I was all giddy with anticipation until some girl ran up, shoved me out of the way, and began climbing.

What a killjoy.

I felt like I was in kindergarten; the way I was yelling at her for cutting in line.  She yelled down, “I was here before you!” and then went down the slide, leaving me to my own little pity party.  Once she was gone, I began climbing again, when another girl ran up and tried to keep me from climbing before her.

I mean, seriously?

Now I was just angry.  I looked at her and said, “Now I know I was here before you!”  And with that, I grabbed her by her waist, and with a mighty “He-yah!” I hurled her off of the ladder into a pool.  I grinned to myself as I climbed all the way up the ladder to the top of the slide.

I figured there was no way I was going to win the race at this point, so I just sat at the top of the water slide, happily blocking people’s way.  Call it payback for the two jerks who cut (or tried to cut) in front of me.  I began humming a merry little tune to myself as irritated contestants climbed over me, and then I saw Juliet.  She was walking (not swinging) across the monkey bars, and I gaped up at her as I thought, “Gosh… why didn’t I think of that?”  She came to the end and gave me this look that said “You should really move away from the water slide.” 

Instead I laughed at her... and laughed… and laughed. 

She laughed too (except hers was more evil…) as she said, “I’ll get you back for this later.”  And with that she jumped from the monkey bars and belly-flopped onto the water slide.  She showed no signs of pain so I just gaped at her while she slid backwards down the slide, smiling a mischievous smile at me the whole time.

I guess I decided it was about time I actually slide down the slide, considering there didn’t appear to be anyone else in line for it.  So, I pushed off from the top and slid down.  And by slid down I mean it went a little something like this:

I pushed off, and then kept pushing off, working up more and more speed.  I reached a curve and was going to fast that I launched off of the slide, but somehow manage to proportion my weight so I landed back on the slide, going twice as fast.  I reached the end of the slide and did some weird acrobatic jump, launching myself high above everyone, and staring down at the awe-struck stares of the bystanders and other competitors.  While in mid-air, I dived back down towards the pool and then somehow suspended myself in the air long enough to do a few flips before completing a perfect swan-dive into the water.

I’m not that good of a diver in real life…seriously.

Soon after I figured out that I really should’ve heed Juliet’s warning look.  As soon as I landed in the pool, she literally just appeared out of nowhere (*poof*), and started swimming at an incredible speed towards me.  I tried to outswim her…tried to flee… and I failed.

The last thing I remember is being repeatedly dunked underwater... over and over and over again.  And that, dear children, is why we never, EVER, block giant water slides used in seemingly pointless races run by angry contestants who cut in line because they're little CHEATERS.

Too much?